Dreamy Falls setting
“Good evening and a warm welcome to Sheen Falls Lodge,” says the receptionist, before leading me personally to my room.
Five-star boxes are ticked from the get-go.
The setting at Sheen Falls is dreamy. Mature woodland tumbles down towards Kenmare Bay, with the hotel itself looking like a 21st-century lodge snuggled at the heart of it. An underwhelming, low-ceilinged lobby doesn’t quite follow through on the impact, but step through towards the bar, terrace and restaurant, and you’ll find knockout views over the cascading waterfall.
I stayed in Room 207, a deep-set, luxurious double overlooking the falls. Creature comforts included a large flat screen TV, heavy-bottomed tumblers for drinks, a steel-grey couch, and a bed as big as a badminton court. A ribbon-tied box squirrelled away two welcoming chocolates.
The bathroom is like a marble showroom, and a double sink is a treat, though I’m not sure what place a plastic toilet seat and old-fashioned coil-cable handset have in the set-up. As well as the rooms and suites, Sheen Falls offers cottages and bay villas on the estate.
The health club is a warm, inviting and sophisticated space. The pool is small, with a cartoonish kind of shape, and housed in a bright, glass, stone and timber extension. Saunas, steam room and spa treatments are all to hand, and a jacuzzi sits under a glass roof at the heart of it all.
Despite an enjoyable swim, I found the gents’ changing room strangely tiny. At best, I’d say it could accommodate three to four men, and the hairdryer was one of those old tube-like machines, held together with tape. “We believe our strengths lie in our attention to detail and exceptional levels of service,” states the guest services directory. The dots didn’t join up here.
Elsewhere, you’ll find a small art gallery, croquet lawn, jogging trail and vintage cars — a 1936 Buick and 1990 Rolls Royce Silver Spirit 2 — available for chauffeur-driven tours. Guests can fish the River Sheen, go horse-riding, shooting or play tennis. You’re lord of the manor, really.
The best rooms in the house are the library, full of beautiful coffee table tomes like Richard Avedon’s photos of the Kennedys, and the sun lounge. If you can’t stay over, stop by for afternoon tea, and make a beeline for the bay window seats at the end of the latter. You can watch Kenmare Bay rise and fall with the tide here, as Sheen Falls splash around the corner.
What not to see, more like. This is Kenmare, after all. You could stay put and nose around the village, grab a meal in Packie’s, or head off on the 110-mile Ring of Kerry. You could tip over to Killarney. You could drive to Glengariff over the Caha Pass. Or you could just do nothing.
The duty manager welcomed me with a flourish to La Cascade, the fine-dining restaurant, highlighting a couple of dishes he felt worthy of particular consideration. I started with salmon smoked fresh in the kitchen, and followed with a breast of Skeaghanore duck. It fanned out on the plate in slim, plumy slices, accompanied by buttery slivers of seasonal vegetables.
La Cascade has won and lost a Michelin star, but the biggest impression is made by the woodland and waterfall view, which could romance a stone. If you don’t fancy all the white linen, amuse bouches and hefty price tags, you can eat casually at Oscar’s (which also has a terrace).
Two other nice touches — newspapers are offered at the table at breakfast and, at dinner, when a fellow diner started coughing, a glass of water was brought immediately.
Sheen Falls Lodge has a three-night ‘Sweet Dreams’ package, including two dinners, from €380pps. A three-night family package with kids’ club costs €970. Tel: 064-6641600; sheenfallslodge.ie.
Technically, Sheen Falls Lodge is a fine five-star. Personally, I didn’t warm to the peach and yellow tones, and I felt some of the fustier touches (horsey pictures, armour, stuffed fish) undercut rather than complemented the overall feeling of sleekness.
The pool and public rooms are superb, and the bedrooms exceptionally spacious, but I think it lacks the character of the nearby Park Hotel, or the chutzpah of fellow Relais & Chateau member, the Cliff House. Rest assured, however, that the service is equal to both.
