Hello, it's Rosealeen here, from Ballydesmond. Happy new year, my arse, with the schools closed and my boyfriend up in Bishopstown after asking me if I'd move into the house with him and look after his two kids from a previous relationship.
Would it kill his ex- wife not to turn up every second day, with half the Brown Thomas make-up counter plastered onto her face and her in a pair of gym pants to show off all the running she can do because gobshite here is minding her kids?
To make matters worse, he's expecting a gymnastics display in the bedroom every night, as if I'd something better to be doing than going to sleep. I can't make up my mind if he's taking me for granted, or for a fool. Do you have any idea, tell me?
It's getting frosty on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Like to Remind Teachers that Our Taxes Pay Their Salaries.
Lorna_2RangeRovers said she still has the hump with her local school, after her Hugo was suspended for his 'My Mom todally earns more in an hour than you do in a week' comment. (H ard to believe he's only 4). Fifi_ CEO said, 'Ya, Lorna, and now the teachers have a month off to do remote learning, AKA learning what the next episode of is like at 11 in the morning, while we're stuck minding our kids .'
The problem is, I fired my au pair after she gave my husband a twin-pack of Calvin Klein boxers from TK Maxx for Christmas, because we'd be toast on Rue De Douglas if someone saw a TK Maxx bag in our recycling. So, does anyone have a Covid-free au pair that I could borrow ?
Guten Tag: I have been living in Ireland now for three years and have mastered the way you speak English here, except for the way Cork people say, 'Look at that Nowlaa'. (Do you think my name is Nowlaa? I have done nothing to give you this impression.)
However, now something else is confusing me. In the past few days, I have seen government figures using the word 'firm' in a way that I would not expect. We were told that it was the Government’s firm intention to open the schools next week. Only today, I read Niall Collins saying that the Government is 'very firm' on a commitment to a normal Leaving Cert exam this summer. So, does this mean it will happen?
Happy new year, old stock. Consternation here on the Blackrock Road, with news that click-and-collect might be completely curtailed under the new restrictions. That probably won't affect people in poorer areas, like Ballinlough and the Skehard Road — if one of ye bought a pair of jeans in Brown Thomas, ye'd probably be, 'Oh, look at me, Cork's answer to Bill Gates.'
But we operate in thinner air down here on the Blackrock Road and this new lockdown means I can't click and collect my new, limited-edition, 211-C Range Rover. Hoggy already has his and didn't he fly a banner over my €4.8m mansion yesterday, saying, 'Reggie is a loser'. This is the nightmare scenario. Do you think I could bribe a guard at a checkpoint?
Ya, so, like, I'm todally a young professional, sharing a house with two other young professionals. One of them has become vegan in the new year and wants her own shelf on the fridge, because she doesn't want her organic tofu coming into contact with my steak. She said I totes better not object or she'll have me cancelled on Twitter by angry vegans, as if there's any other kind of vegan, because they're always starving. The problem is, I fancy her: What do you think I should do?