When 'home alone' definitely doesn't mean lonely at home
Gone are the days of needing men to bring bread to the table. Women have their own tables and men must earn a seat at it
“Living alone is a gift,” says comedian Joanne McNally, who made the bold move to buy her own apartment in December 2023.
For McNally, the decision was more than just about owning property; it was about embracing independence and self-sufficiency. “I wanted to have my own stuff, my own space,” she explains.
“It’s such a gift to yourself when you can finally do that.”
While McNally’s experience is personal, it reflects a broader societal shift. In Ireland today, approximately 40% of households are single-person homes, according to the latest Central Statistics Office figures, marking a steady increase over the past decade. Notably, women aged 25 to 44 are leading this trend, rejecting the notion that living alone is merely a waiting room for marriage.
There has been a cultural shift. Living solo isn’t a fallback, it’s intentional. Single person households are sprinkled all over Ireland. Inhabited by a new brand of ladies. They don’t conform. These are not misfits of society, crying into their pillows listening to their 57 cats meow. These women, who were once dismissed as ‘weird cat ladies’ are sharp, self-assured and self-sufficient. They have high standards and zero hesitations about purring “no thank you” to anything or anyone that falls short.
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Cara, a 44-year-old former teacher who lives alone in Westmeath loves the solitude. She tells how “It’s empowering as a single woman. The sense of autonomy and contentment. The quietness, the peace, not having to worry about making noise, what’s not to love? I’m so comfortable in my own skin since living alone. I definitely had more insecurities when I was younger. That fear that I needed to settle down has simply dissipated.” Cara describes the freedom of not feeling that way as “unbelievably liberating".
Women are not living alone as a placeholder for partnership. Cara quips that “unless a man is contributing to being in my headspace and my house, I don’t need him". For her, living alone has afforded her clarity on what she wants and what she doesn’t want. It has raised the bar on what she’ll accept from men.
Cher once said: "Men are like a party, enjoy them while they last, but don’t depend on them to keep the lights on." Gone are the days of needing men to bring bread to the table. Women have their own tables and men must earn a seat at it.
Dr Virpi Timonen of Trinity University explains: "It’s not a failure of relationship; it’s an expression of self-sufficiency. For many women solo living represents an act of autonomy.”
Dr Sarah O’Reilly, a sociologist at University College Dublin, notes that the trend of women choosing to live alone is shaped by financial independence and changing social norms. “Women today have greater autonomy and are less pressured into traditional family structures,” she notes.
“Living alone allows for personal growth and the freedom to define one’s own life path.”
She also cautions that rising housing costs present a real challenge. “It can be financially demanding for single women to maintain independence, so policy measures supporting affordable housing are essential.”
The median house price in Ireland now stands at €370,000, with new-build homes in Dublin averaging around €500,000. The Society of Chartered Surveyors of Ireland reports that couples require a combined income exceeding €100,000 to comfortably afford a three-bedroom home. For single women, these figures highlight the financial hurdles that come with pursuing independent living.
Despite the costs, women like Monika, 36, find living alone transformative and wouldn’t have it any other way. Single for seven years, she bought her own apartment two years ago and discovered a renewed sense of self-worth. “I like myself,” she says with a smile. “For a long time, being alone was my biggest fear. Now it’s a cherished part of my life.”
Monika’s home, decorated and furnished entirely by her, has become a sanctuary. “I would advise every young woman who has the opportunity to live alone to do so. It’s one of the best things a woman can do for herself, to truly get to know who you are and enjoy your own presence.”
When I posted a shout-out on social media for ‘Goddesses of Solitude’ to feature in this piece, I received a message from Ciara, 38, a Dubliner who made me laugh.
She’s been perfecting the art of living solo for more than a decade. After years in Dublin city centre, she bolted for Ibiza post-lockdown and bought herself an apartment there. Recently, however, a ‘charming, Michelin-trained chef turned sexy sailor’ has rocked the boat by luring her onto his boat. She explained: “I miss being single and the dream life I worked so hard to create for myself." Then confessed: “Right now, it’s summer fun, it’s hot, and so is he, but if he asks to move in for the winter, I might have to say no.”
For women who’ve grown comfortable living alone, the balance between independence and companionship can rest on a knife edge.
Sharon, 35, from Cork, emphasises the importance of boundaries and personal space. When a man she was dating offered to help her assemble a wardrobe, she declined, and his reaction was telling.
“Not long after, he told me ‘I don’t think I’ve anything to offer you,’” she recalls.
“Ironically, he proved my point.”
She treasures her independence: “Not having to put up with anyone’s nonsense, being able to spend a whole day without interacting with anyone, those are freedoms I’d struggle to give up.”
She doesn’t pretend it’s perfect. Sharon admits there are pangs of loneliness. Such as coming home after a stressful day and there is nobody to vent to, or finding a great Netflix series but having nobody to share it with. It also provides the perfect conditions for falling into negative thought loops: ‘When there’s no distraction and nobody to challenge your opinion, you can spiral a bit. But the good far outweighs the bad.’
Data from the European Social Survey shows that across the EU, single-person households have grown by nearly 25% over the last 15 years, a trend mirrored in Ireland. The European Commission predicts that solo households will continue to be the fastest-growing living arrangement in Ireland over the next decade, signalling a lasting cultural shift. Increasingly, living alone is being celebrated as a positive lifestyle choice, closely linked to self-care and autonomy.
This movement is quietly dismantling decades of social conditioning. For generations, single women were viewed through a lens of pity or suspicion. Today’s tearaways are reclaiming the narrative, proving that solitude can be vibrant and deliberate. The appeal is not only about avoiding bad relationships; it’s about creating a life they enjoy.
All of the women I spoke to felt the same — living alone is a luxury rather than a lack.
With more women financially independent than ever before, marriage is no longer an economic necessity. Urban living, shifting social norms, and delayed parenthood have transformed the traditional family model.
For many, solo living is a destination rather than a phase. These women are cultivating careers, friendships, travel experiences, and romance on their own terms. They are not waiting to be chosen; they are choosing themselves.
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