Sober curious: Why more people are choosing to live alcohol-free lives

A booze-free lifestyle has become more acceptable, with more social events and a wider range of zero-alcohol drinks.

The choice of non-alcoholic drinks has exploded in recent years, both in quality and range. Picture: iStock

There was a time when declaring you weren’t drinking on a night out meant people assumed you were driving, on antibiotics, or pregnant. 

Nowadays, it’s not only a socially acceptable choice, but an increasingly popular one. Why are so many people choosing to give up drinking and embrace alcohol-free living?

Melissa Kelly is a postdoctoral researcher in public health and founder of Sober Social Ireland. While in college and working in a bar, she drank “like everyone else”. 

She struggled with anxiety, and says: “When I was drinking I finally thought I could open up and come out of my shell.”

As time went on, she found even one night of drinking had an effect on her whole week: “I was in a cycle of drinking Friday, being hungover Saturday and Sunday, and having anxiety during the week.”

Over the years, Melissa took breaks from alcohol and tried to reduce her drinking. At the beginning of the pandemic, she noticed her mental health was suffering and decided to quit for good.

“I realised a lot of my anxiety was stemming from drinking,” she says.

As part of her sobriety journey, Melissa threw herself into new hobbies such as yoga, baking, hiking, and sea swimming. “Sobriety became a foundation for self-care,” she says.

She began to share her story online, and connect with others who were giving up alcohol. She set up Sober Social Ireland, an online community that runs regular virtual and in-person events. 

Sober social hike at Mahon Falls

The meet-ups are hugely popular, with the group’s St Patrick’s Day Hike in Dublin attracting more than 100 people. “With sober socialising, you get to have an honest conversation and walk away with a new friend,” says Melissa.

Although her friends were supportive of her decision to quit drinking, they did wonder why she was stopping if she didn’t “have a problem”. 

On the outside everything looked fine, but on the inside she was constantly thinking about moderation and managing her drinking. “It’s a problem when you decide it’s a problem,” she says.

Melissa did lose some friends when she stopped going to bars, and acknowledges that can happen. “It is hard, which is why it’s so important to have social support,” she says. “True friends will support you no matter what.”

There has been a growth in alcohol-free spaces and events, from board game cafes, to pop up alcohol-free bars, to sober raves. 

Naoise Galvin, founder of Golden Space, organises alcohol-free festivals and dance events in Cork. She says the gatherings “bridge the world of wellness with rave culture”.

“People like having the option of coming for a dance without the pressure to drink,” she explains. Live DJs help to get the crowd moving. “People feel a natural high from dancing,” says Naoise.

The alcohol-free drinks market is responding to the sober curious trend. The choice of non-alcoholic drinks has exploded in recent years, both in quality and range. According to Drinks Ireland, sales of non-alcoholic beers in Ireland more than tripled between 2017 and 2021. Data platform Statista estimates the worldwide non-alcoholic drinks market is projected to generate $1.6bn in revenue in 2024.

Amy Kiernan, founder of drinknolo.ie

Amy Kiernan is the founder of Drinknolo.ie, a bottle shop that stocks premium alcohol-free drinks, from sparkling kombucha to non-alcoholic tequila. Amy always enjoyed a drink at the end of the day or to celebrate an occasion: “Red wine was my drink of choice,” she says.

After her son was born, she experienced postpartum anxiety, and realised drinking was making it worse. “Alcohol was costing me too much in terms of sleep and my wellbeing,” she says. Over the years, she “flirted with stopping and starting [drinking], and felt so much better without alcohol.” Eventually, she decided to quit altogether.

Amy still wanted to experience the ritual of having a nice drink, but found the alcohol-free alternatives in Ireland were limited. She was looking for something “really indulgent, something that feels special”. At the end of 2023, she set up her own business to fill the gap in the market. “I want to feel like I’m treating myself, like I’m celebrating,” she says.

Amy believes a change in attitudes to alcohol has made it easier to embrace sobriety. “Instead of apologising for not drinking — I’m alcohol-free and fabulous,” she says.

To anyone considering giving up alcohol, her advice is: “Trust yourself and ask what it is that is making you sober curious.”

Although there are more options emerging for people who want to socialise without alcohol, Amy believes the hospitality industry hasn’t caught up yet. Non-drinkers can feel like it’s a “hassle” for bar staff to make mocktails, or find the range of alcohol-free drinks limited. “I think there is a resistance to facilitating it.”

She says bars or restaurants are ultimately losing out by not catering for non-drinkers: “It’s unfortunate, because if I go to a restaurant and they don’t have alcohol-free options, they’re losing business.”

Olivia Farrelly of greyareadrinker.ie

Olivia Farrelly is an alcohol-free mentor and host of the No More Booze podcast. She gave up alcohol six years ago, when she realised how much it was affecting her physical and mental health. Olivia’s drinking seemed normal in her 20s, but when she reached her 30s she began to experience anxiety and self-loathing.

After her children were born, Olivia says she could drink half a bottle of wine and wake up in the middle of the night feeling anxious. Things came to a head at a wedding abroad in 2018, when she had a panic attack and experienced heart palpitations after a heavy night of drinking. She decided to quit alcohol, and hasn’t had a drink since. “It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done,” she says.

Back then, there weren’t many resources online about sober living. These days, information and support is widely available, and people are more knowledgeable about the harms of alcohol. Olivia believes a turning point came during lockdown when people were spending more time drinking at home. “The cultural wave of sober curiosity has been sped up by the pandemic,” she says.

“There’s a growing awareness that alcohol is taking more than it’s giving,” Olivia says. “People are less judgemental now when you say you are giving up drinking.”

Although times have changed, Olivia says there is still work to do to shift attitudes about the health risks of alcohol. “If you go to a wedding and say you’ve given up cigarettes, everyone says ‘fair play to you’. If you say you’ve given up alcohol, they grill you,” she explains.

Oliva finds that people can be “black and white” about drinking. They assume that if you’ve given up alcohol it’s because you “have an addiction or you’ve joined some kind of cult”. Her work is dedicated to helping ‘Grey Area Drinkers’ who want to remove alcohol from their lives.

Since quitting alcohol, Olivia says she is “happier, a better parent, and a better wife”. Her shame and self-loathing have disappeared, and her sleep has improved. “I go to bed every night with peace,” she says.

If you are thinking about giving up drinking, Olivia recommends trying it for 100 days so you have a chance to notice the impact. “We never give ourselves enough time away from alcohol to see the difference,” she says.

Online and in-person groups, podcasts and books are excellent resources for anyone starting their journey of sobriety. If you’re in any way sober curious, there’s never been a better time to explore your relationship with alcohol.