Diary of a Gen Z Student: Get ready for Hot Girl Summer — messy hair, glossy lips, mini dresses and sunglasses

Trinity College student and Irish Examiner columnist Jane Cowan. Photo: Barry Cronin

Temperatures in Dublin have officially exceeded 16C. Which means one thing, and one thing only: Hot girl summer has begun. 

It’s the event of the year for young girls everywhere. Our time to thrive. 

This is what it’s all been for. Sweating through exams and assignments. The relentless grey skies. The vitamin D deficiency I developed. Wondering if we’d ever see the sun again. And just when you think it’ll never happen, the rain takes a break. 

Here we are. Winter coats a distant memory, an opportunity to break out the Birkenstocks, dresses without tights — what’s not to love?

My final assignments for college are submitted. I survived exams. For the time being, I am a woman without responsibilities. So, I need something to focus my energy into for the next few months. 

Hot girl summer is calling. And by God, am I answering the call.

For anyone unsure what exactly I’m talking about, let me explain. This is all about the girls. And the girls only. Boys, at rest. You’re great and all, but you’re just not welcome here. Think of it as reparations for centuries of patriarchy. 

The girls are taking summer back. Sorry, not sorry. It’s our time. You get to pee wherever you like, we get summer. Deal with it. 

And before the misogynists of the world have a meltdown, don’t worry. You can still enjoy your life. But my hot girl summer will be more fun than whatever it is you’ve got planned. 

Because I’ve got all the hot girls on my side; it’s a group endeavour. And there’s strength in unity. No need to be bitter about it.

Despite what the name, ‘hot girl summer’ might have you believe, this is not about aspiring towards any sort of aesthetic goals. 

The beauty of hot girl summer is that there’s no application process. Every girl is a hot girl. It’s for us all.

And I really mean that. This is the summer where you remember that every body is a bikini body. That you’re ignoring the magazines and TikToks telling you how to get your body ‘summer ready’. 

Because hating yourself is simply not on the hot girl summer agenda. You’re too hot for that.

You’re not trying to find a husband either. You don’t have time for time wasters. Or boys that “want to keep things casual”. Or boys that think monogamy is “a lot of pressure”. Or boys that are “not into labels”.

Because you’re young. You’ve got too much to offer to be waiting for a text back. We don’t get much good weather in Ireland. So you’ve got to make the most of it. 

And nothing will ruin it like a boy who’s convinced he’s a 10; when really, he’s a bad driver that can’t read an analogue clock or remember his own mother’s birthday. So, a five at best.

Don’t spend your precious summer teaching a grown, adult man how to act. He’s definitely not worth it. Not when you could be drinking an Aperol spritz in the sun.

As you’ve gathered, you’re trying to have the ultimate summer. That includes being spontaneous.

Last-minute plans for drinks on Drury Street with the girls? You’ll be there. Surfing trip this weekend? Clear your calendar.

No lounging around your house rewatching Gossip Girl. No quiet nights in. No watching other people out having fun on Instagram. Because you’ll be out having fun already, too busy to care about what’s happening on Instagram. 

You’re the main character in your life. It’s all about leaning into that. No one wants to watch a movie about someone sitting on their sofa scrolling through their phone. 

So, you’ll have to go out and cause some trouble. If you’re not on a first-name basis with the bouncers in your favourite nightclub by August, you’ve done something wrong.

You can sleep when you’re dead. But for now, you’ve got to look at it as character development. The movie about your life will only benefit from it.

We get a finite number of spins around the sun. So, we’ve got to use them wisely. 

This is mini dresses and sunglasses. This is messy hair. This is glossy lips. This is sun-kissed skin. This is bikinis. This is Prosecco in the park. This is owning the dance floor in the nightclub. 

This is hot girl summer. I was born ready.