Ask Audrey: Things are so bad with my stomach they're calling me 'The Human Rennie'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Jesus Christ almighty, but my Christmas has been ruined by fecking heartburn

So, I’m just coming out of a really difficult divorce in California and I said to myself, Angelina, go to Ireland, dance in the rain, kiss a handsome man, kiss another handsome man, but not at a swingers party, right, not that kind of gal. One at a time, Angelina, one at a time. We grew up with The Quiet Man in our house, I hated it at the time, you guys had the worst teeth, am I right? But I’m older now and the scenery, oh my God Angelina, I’m going to West Kerry to suck up the scenery. I googled things to do there over Christmas with an eye on finding a man or two and came across this like really cool tradition called Hunting the Wren where people put on masks and straw suits and travel around the town of Dingle and further afield. They say it’s hunting the wren, but my friend told me she did it two years ago and it was more like hunting liver disease, you guys like a drink, right?!! Anyway, I did it Audrey, I went hunting the wren, and now I’m in love with a guy called Mick Mike Seán Mary. Do you think it will last?
  — Angelina, I might move to Dingle, I really might.

I wouldn’t move there Angelina. I’ll admit I was impressed the time I went to Dingle and every second person was in a straw suit. But that was in October – it’s how they always dress.