Mateo Saina, Marty Morrissey, Arthur Gourounlian and more share top tips for longterm love
Some of the Examiner's love advisors this Valentine's weekend, L-R: Mateo Saina, Laura O'Mahony, Arthur Gourounlian
I asked some familiar faces to share their top tips for lasting love and happiness in long-term relationships ahead of Valentine’s Day. Here’s what they said...
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings and concerns, and actively listen to your partner's perspective.
Show appreciation and gratitude for your partner. A simple "thank you" or "I appreciate you" can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.
Make time for each other. Set aside regular time to spend together, whether it's going out on a date, having a conversation, or simply cuddling.
Show physical affection. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging and kissing can help to strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
Learn to compromise and make sacrifices. Relationships require both partners to be willing to make sacrifices and compromise in order to make the relationship work.
Show interest in your partner's life and activities – that can help to strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
Be supportive and understanding. Be there for your partner during difficult times and understand that everyone goes through difficult times in their lives.
Keep the romance alive - remember the special moments of your relationship and try to recreate them.
It's important to keep in mind that a relationship is a work in progress and the key is to keep working on it and to never stop trying.
Never forget that ye love each other.
In the midst of all the nappies and school runs and business it can be easy to become ALLERGIC... but remember those first few months where you were sick with excitement. Remember before everything else it was just the two of you.
And laugh, EVERYDAY!
For me, the most important thing is trust. Trust is everything in a successful relationship.
Being independent is also key to a happy relationship. Being independent is a big deal for me as we all had our own lives before we found that one person we love.
As individuals we are all different with different views, tastes and what we need..
And last but not least, HAPPINESS. Once you are not feeling happy you need to be honest and express how you are really feeling. Make sure you talk and that you aren’t forcing yourself to stay just because you are too scared to be on your own.
Surely you are better to be alone and happy than being in a unhappy relationship. Voila, life is beautiful and we all deserve to be in a happy relationship.
Talk every day and have a few laughs.
: I can’t really claim to be an expert on relationships, but I think the goal for any of us, be it in terms of romantic relationships or friendships, is to be accepted for ourselves. Changing yourself to make somebody love you is never going to bring happiness or longevity, so at the risk of sounding like a Bridget Jones character, find somebody who likes you, just as you are.
: The greatest thing my wife Julie ever taught me when we debate the different domestics in the house is “sometimes you can be right or you can be happy. I think there’s so much wisdom in that, and everyday I’m trying to be even half as good as spouse as she is to me.
Everyone should find - and, in fact, deserves - a partner who makes them feel like the finest creature on God's green earth. This is true, and often said. But it is a huge help if this person can also slag you until your face hurts from laughing.
: Don't take yourself too seriously and never go to sleep on an argument - pick your battles! Remember that difficult times come and go and being there for each other when things are tough strengthens your bond and makes the good times even better.
: The holy trinity of long and happy relationship: watch at least one series together weekly, laugh together every day, all wrapped up in love & intimacy - it's essential to have a feel of the bum periodically!
One of the most important things to develop in your relationship is an understanding of the family you both came from and how you experience and express love as a result of early childhood development.
Couples can be very conflicted because they are not fluent in each other's love language.
Also, it is important as life gets more complicated, to avoid it falling into a transactional sibling relationship. The proverbial ships passing, where all chores are used as a weapon to illuminate who does more - stay connected, develop gratitude for each other and don’t allow yourselves to get lost in the dance of busy family life.
And have compassion, neither of you is perfect.
My answer is very simple - have fun. That’s what me and (husband) Brendan try to do anyways!Â
Paula and I met eight years ago in March. It feels as though that time has flown. I never want to look back and think that we didn't spend enough time together.
Communication is, for me, the greatest strength of a happy relationship. It is the cornerstone.
Communication doesn't just mean talking, although that is right up there with the best advice I can give. Talk, and then talk more. Allow lots of space and time for chat.
Listening to each other, hugging, laughing, holding hands, all the good old-fashioned stuff is as important in real life as it is in all those timeless romantic movies (that are well worth watching together again and again).
Don't let work come either between or before your relationship. If this happens, then that element of togetherness that we strive for begins to loosen and snap.
Talk about 'feelings', about each other's feelings. Learn about emotional intelligence, because whether we realise it or not, our relationship depends on it - not just to survive, but to thrive.
'I Love You' are the most important words we will ever learn and remember in life. You can never say them too much.Â
We really need to say them more, and to show that we mean them.
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