Bernard O'Shea: I swapped my smart phone for a 'dumb' phone — and I'm so glad I did

I tried digital detoxes, and every fad going to wean me off the digital dopamine hits. Nothing worked.

Last week I lost my phone. 

I was, embarrassingly, in a panic. To think that this device that wasn’t even a thing for 30 years of my life inflicted this emotion is scary. 

Simply put: I’m never off it. 

I had to delete Twitter and Facebook last year, but I’ve held onto Instagram. Still, the time I spend on it is staggering. 

I’ve tried digital detoxes, and every fad going to wean me off the digital dopamine hits I’ve gotten so obliviously used to doing. Nothing worked. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology, and especially the power of a modern-day cell phone is staggering. 

But, I only get one life, and I don’t want to regret on my deathbed that I spent more time looking at reels than dancing to one. 

So last week, I took the plunge and dumbed down my phone.

You can “dumb down” your phone two ways. You can manually delete all apps apart from the essentials like phone and text. Some people go as far as to remove their email too. This was the first option I took. 

It only took me two days to re-download Instagram.

There is, however, a major red flag here. Although the quickest and cheapest option, it only took me two days to re-download Instagram. Then I forgot all the apps that are quite literally essential. 

Parking apps, banking apps, music, shared diaries, sat nav, and the remote control for the telly. How was I duped into this? I cannot function without the damn thing. 

The second option is to go full metal Youtube on it. Youtube is full of videos on how to go into a deep dive on how to gut out the smarts from your smartphone. From turning off notifications and disabling your browser to blockers. But as always, you can recover your favourite apps and functions anytime. 

I am weak-willed and have the mental strength of a moth around a flame. I knew I would revert back and possibly, like a squirrel in winter, forget how and where I did the deleting. Ironically I watched all these videos on my phone.

The information on all our phones is staggering too. From tax returns to prescriptions, they are integrated into us. They are the cyber manifestation of our souls. 

There is much talk around Elon Musk’s Neuralink. This, on its most basic level, is essentially technology that implants brain-computer interfaces. On one level, I love the concept of this. Communicating non-verbally, instantly bringing up my IQ, never forgetting details, and never losing my phone on a night out. It’s also terrifying. But are they wholly ingrained into us anyway?

Bernard O'Shea: Most people think it’s hilarious that I’m carrying around a nostalgic piece of the mid-90s tech

Whether we like it or not, our phone numbers are one of the most abstract elements of our modern identity. I say this because this year, I had two conversations with people who had lost loved ones.

On both occasions, after the dust had settled, both independently said that the most challenging thing they had to do was cancel the phones of their loved ones. The phone had become the direct line of communication. A way to keep in touch instantly and to share. But I don’t know if all the apps I use and subscribe to are making me more mindful, happier or productive.

Most people also have to have Slack or Microsoft Teams on their phones. 

Again, I’ve used these, and they are a double-edged sword. 

Brilliant for keeping up to date with workflows and organising your workday, but terrible for seeping consciously and subconsciously into our collective psyches for having to be constantly “on”. Like it or not, our lives are becoming more and more immersive in living our lives digitally. The horse has bolted, and it has Bluetooth capabilities.

So what did I do with my phone? Well, I kept it, but not as a phone. 

I bought a granddad’s phone online for €30 and swapped out the SIM. So my iPhone is now a mini iPad that stays at home or in my car to listen to a podcast. So far, I have had my “dumb” or what has been more commonly called a “festival” phone for the last week, and the biggest lesson learned so far is people’s reaction to it.

Most think it’s hilarious that I’m carrying around a nostalgic piece of the mid-90s tech, others think it’s just a fake.

Either way, I’ve noticed that I only use Instagram to post. I only search for topics on the internet that I’m interested in or need. I bring my bank card out instead of tapping, and I’m reading more books. Because when I do take the smartphone out, it feels alien and weird. 

Online time has quickly become a necessity rather than a way of life.