Richard Hogan: Beware the pitfalls of the Christmas party

Treat the office party with all the caution it merits

Good old Christmas parties are things to be dodged. Picture: Pexels

Ah, this time of year: mulled wine, cloyingly sweet songs of mistletoe and other festive paraphernalia, children sticky with dreams of Santa and people dressed up as Inuits and lest I forget, the good old annual office Christmas party.

Now, I’m no prude, but I avoid them like the plague. I have gone to a few over the years, and these experiences only confirmed my cognitive bias, the good old Christmas parties are things to be dodged.

I’m no Ebenezer Scrooge but I saw, as a kid, what happened to John McClane in Die Hard; arriving late to his estranged wife’s Christmas party did him no favours.

If only he had turned down the invite by the Nakatomi Corporation, he wouldn’t have had to experience Hans Gruber and his bloody gang of Nazis (I don’t actually know if they are Nazis but they spoke like them and were well dressed) attempting to take an entire building hostage. Typical Gruber!

But then I watched The Office Christmas special and the final moments of that made me reconsider my position, Dawn and Tim finally manage to get it together after 12 long awkward episodes.

Maybe the Christmas party is the place where love can grow.

Richard Hogan. Picture: Moya Nolan

There is mistletoe and plenty of free booze, so that’s the stuff of clumsy romantic dalliance right there.

In fact, I have seen many people make such connections at the annual shindig.

Some even went the distance, got married and had kids together, some were more ephemeral, and lasted until the light of day coldly delineated the parameters of working life once again.

Ah, those wonderfully painful conversations in the staffroom in the chaotic aftermath of romantic expression: “Any plans for the holiday?”

Be still my beating heart.

So, if you are heading out in to the world of corporate/work related Christmas cheer, I would say enter into this activity like you would a work do.

Because, that is exactly what it is.

People often suspend reality because it is the end of year, spirits are high and booze is free.

They get swept along in it all, and end up jeopardising the position they worked so hard to attain.

I remember, in my teaching days, a young teacher regaling me with his horror story from his previous place of employment’s Christmas party.

It was one of those swanky schools, and they had organised Kris Kindle.

He was only in the school a few months and still in his teacher training.

He was no more than 21 years old, wet behind the ears and drenched in stupidity. A child, playing grown up games.

Our young protagonist, on this particular occasion, went out with all the energy and impetuousness of youth and bought an inappropriate gift for his secret Santa.

Now, to say that the aging teacher who was on the receiving end of his gift was annoyed would be an understatement.

I still remember the way he told the story: he was shocked as he saw the gifts being unwrapped after the meal; the latest Pulitzer-prize winning novel, cook books, the odd irreverent game or two.

And then his present, a sex toy for a retiring female teacher.

He described the gasp from the table, the beer pouring down the noses of the men.

All round, shock and awe.

An investigation was carried out, everyone said who they had and what they bought.

He was found out by a process of elimination, and then he was eliminated.

It went down in infamy in the annals of the school’s Christmas party.

And so, he had to leave and make his way, vibratorless, to the school I was working in at the time.

I can report, he didn’t take part in the Kris Kindle that year, once bitten and all that.

His story should be an important one for all you youngsters and maybe oldsters heading off into the working world of organised spontaneous Christmas party fun.

What can seem like a bit of harmless levity can quickly become a legacy issue you can’t shake off.

Clients often tell me about what happened at their office party.

Often, they describe a difficult conflicted relationship with a colleague or a slight they felt during the year and, with some alcohol onboard, they decide the Christmas party is the perfect time to air that grievance.

It goes down about as well as broccoli at a kids party, and the rift is now deeper and more personal than before the party started.

So, make sure you do not use the Christmas party to ‘’heal wounds’ inflicted earlier in the year.

That would be best done before the party, so there is no simmering tension and alcohol involved.

The old Christmas party should come with a warning for those heading off blindly into it.

They can sometimes leave a bad aftertaste, and impact career trajectory.

Not something you shouldn’t be cognisant of as you raise your glass to St Nick.