The Christmas 'cardinal sin': James Patrice shares Malahide Woman's top gifting tips

From gifting etiquette to scouring the aisles — Malahide Woman knows it all 
The Christmas 'cardinal sin': James Patrice shares Malahide Woman's top gifting tips

James Patrice AKA Malahide Woman has advice for those who have yet to start the Christmas shopping.

Christmas and gifting go hand-in-hand but with the big day fast approaching, many of us have yet to brave the festive shopping rush.

TV personality James Patrice has teamed up with TK Maxx this Christmas to help shoppers nail their gifting without the stress. The social media star, who is widely known for his hilarious characters and personas, has shared some advice for Christmas shopping and gifting this year — and how to do it like Malahide Woman.

Malahide Woman is incredibly organised, he warns, so she tends to plan her presents in advance. But she will still browse the aisles and if something catches her eye she will pick it up — whether it’s for her husband Declan, her bestie Geraldine or her arch nemesis Celine.

And of course, she will be sure to treat herself too — anything from lingerie to a teapot. Once it’s hot, she doesn’t mind.

“It’s essential [to get yourself something]. People say nowadays we have to be mindful and be kind to ourselves and Malahide Woman wouldn’t consider meditation being kind to herself, she’d consider that a form of self-torture… a good auld jaunt around the shops — that’s how she’s kind to herself and how she treats herself," says James Patrice, AKA Malahide Woman.

Christmas will be fairly chaotic in Malahide Woman’s household but the one thing that isn’t chaotic are the gifts. Her top tip, however, comes after she has searched high and low to find the perfect present.

“She doesn’t really have time for wrapping so [it’s] gift bags under the tree and it’s important to note that she does iron the gift bags.

“For years now she has had one that has been on rotation around Malahide for the last 20 years. The cardinal sin: You must never write on the gift tag of the Christmas bag. If you really hate someone, then you can write on the gift tag, and then they won’t be able to use the bag again. 

It’s the ultimate betrayal. It’s the Judas kiss of the modern gifting world.

Of course, it's also important to pick up something for yourself.
Of course, it's also important to pick up something for yourself.

But when it comes to scouring the shops, her advice is to be focused and keep your eyes peeled for a good bargain.

“Don’t be afraid to go a bit wild and if the person that you’re buying for doesn’t like it, they can feck off,” says James.

While Malahide Woman is well and truly on top of the Christmas presents this year and ready to relax with a glass (or bottle) of bubbly, there is still plenty of time. So, if you have yet to start your shopping, do not worry.

“It’s all about organisation but also on the other hand, if you have nothing bought fear not. There’s plenty of time. You have to hit the shops, have an open mind, be open and susceptible to anything and everything and you’ll definitely find something. That’s why she does enjoy TK Maxx because it is a one-stop shop.”

She is a big fan of “luxury for less” and often, that can mean a bit of drama on the shop aisles.

“You’re getting in that door, you’re scouring the competition, you’re rallying through the rails, and Malahide Woman would never condone using brute force but if it’s between yourself and that wagon from across the road for the last Christmas robe, you do what you gotta do because it’s winner takes it all.” 

For her husband Declan, she has picked up a nice coat this year, and as for Celine… 

“She’ll get her a nice little hot water bottle to keep her warm at night because well, a man hasn’t done that in years since her second husband left.” 

As for Malahide Woman's dream gift?

For husband Declan to book a one-way ticket out of Ireland.

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