The Corkman behind Beautiful Pints and Sh*t London Guinness

Humans of the Sesh co-founder has grown up, taking Irish drink discourse with him — and a bar in Crookhaven is one of his highest-rated pints

Wed, 17 Aug, 2022 - 18:00

Mike McGrath Bryan

It’s strange to have to explain Humans of the Sesh in something approaching the past tense.

In the late 2010s, the social media page’s visceral documentation of young people’s experiences in post-recession Ireland veered from shaggy-dog stories of wild house parties pastiching the Humans of New York phenomenon to lectures for UCC Philosophy Soc, advocacy for social causes like repealing the Eighth Amendment and trans rights, and having courted audiences of millions weekly on Facebook, a brief period of international recognition.

But every generation of young people grows up — and in the case of Generation F**ked, many are choosing to emigrate to escape the housing crisis and other post-austerity obstacles.

And when Ian Ryan, otherwise known as Grand Feen, moved to London for work, sister Instagram and Twitter pages @Shitlondonguinness (highlighting substandard local pints of Guinness) and @Beautifulpints (the opposite) were born from that change of perspective.

“It’s transitioning from ‘we want to have 12 cans in a massive bag, and to sit and get as f**ked as possible’ to being in your professional career or whatever, and being like ‘I would like to have a perfectly presented pint’. The same sort of feeling, a grown-up version of Humans of the Sesh in a way.

send it back to hell from whence it came pic.twitter.com/P6OXGgV7C7
— shitlondonguinness (@shitlondonguinn) August 6, 2022

“I had a thread on my own Twitter for a little while, posting pics of bad pints I found of Guinness in London, and people were reacting to it, so I thought it was something that might do well on Instagram. I set up the account and within a week it had 10,000 followers. It wouldn’t have been as big if we hadn’t been able to post it on Humans of the Sesh, and draw followers from that, though.”

You could ask Ryan about the process of becoming a well-appointed pintman in London Town, and he has his own tips and workflow, certainly, but it’s the speed with which people have taken the pages to heart and become part of it all that’s most remarkable about the whole enterprise.

“Over time it has grown to become mostly photos submitted from our community. I spend some time every couple of days trawling through messages, then trying to find one I think will work best on the page — it’s the same for @beautifulpints!

my man isn’t having it pic.twitter.com/M36HkjcRqy
— shitlondonguinness (@shitlondonguinn) July 25, 2022

“Follower input is an important part of the London pintman process, though ... the Notes app on my phone is full to the brim with pub recommendations around the city for Guinness, and I consult it anytime I’m on the hunt for a pint of cream in a new area.”

As one can imagine, being the target of either praise or derision — especially from a following as discerning as the new diaspora — has seen venues either roll with the punches and work on serving up their pints of plain to a changing crowd, or double-down in worrisome fashion.

“The vast majority of the pint stuff has been positive. A good few of the pubs run with it and make a joke out of it if they’re tagged — and it’s not all bad because they end up getting a visit from the Guinness quality team to give them a hand with cleaning their Guinness lines/pint pouring and all that.

ah yeah pic.twitter.com/yT0zgZytZb
— beautiful pints (@beautifulpints) August 2, 2022

“Of course, pubs are generally very happy when they’re posted on the beautifulpints page ... I have many pubs out there around Ireland that have told me to call in for a pint to say thanks after posting them on the page, so one day, I will take a month off work and go around collecting my delicious debts.

“I did have one particularly bad response to a pub being tagged on @shitlondonguinness. I won’t name names, but a new ‘Irish’ pub up near me in London invited me in to try their Guinness that they claimed was the best in the city, but it ended up being rotten tangy, filthy glass, over 6 pounds, all of the hallmarks of sh*te.

“I posted a photo of the pint on @shitlondonguinness, but I didn’t actually tag the pub or post anything identifying because he was after inviting me in and I didn’t want to stab the fella in the back. I ended up waking up to a drunken 2am threatening message from the fella off the pub’s Instagram account, saying a lot but my favourite part being:

“Your choice, young Cork man. Take my business on, or I take on yours and let them speak…”

All this talk of comparing pints goes down one road as far as two Cork heads on the phone... where can one find the best pint of Guinness in Cork — and how does it compare to a standard pint of Beamish?

“Best Guinness I’ve had in Cork was probably from O’Sullivans Bar down in Crookhaven. An absolute institution…

"They’re both beautiful beasts in their own unique ways. I find it tough to compare the two. It’s like trying to compare Gareth Bale scoring a beautiful bicycle kick goal in the champions league final with Ronnie O’Sullivan breaking 147 in the snooker championships. Both incredible, awe-inspiring feats of human achievement, but different and hard to say which is the best.”