Brendan Courtney: I went into TV looking for attention and approval from strangers

If I had taken a different fork in the road I might have been a doctor... or a road sweeper

Brendan Courtney

I was born in Coolock, in North Dublin in the early 70s. I grew up with my two older sisters. My parents were very young when they got married and had us, they were in their 20s. Sadly, my two sisters on either side of me died. Ashley, my sister Deborah's twin, died at about a year and a half when I was still a baby. A year after I was born, Orla was born and she died at six months of congenital heart disease. My parents always talked about the girls. If we lost a toy, we were told to pray to the girls. Bizarrely, it was a very happy home despite the tragedy. My memory of childhood is just absolute happiness. My mother was a hairdresser and she always felt guilty about working Saturdays. Once a month, on a Monday, we would see her coming up the pathway to school and know what was about to happen. She'd lie to the teacher and say she had to take us out for a family emergency and then take us to the cinema because Monday was her day off.

I was 19 when I came out to my parents. At that time, it was still illegal to be gay in Ireland. My mam burst into tears when I told her. She said, 'you'll never have children and I said 'f**k I never thought about that — thanks!'.