Dear Louise: My friend is trying to leave an abusive relationship - how can I help?

"Most women will, on average, try to leave an abusive situation between five and seven times before they are successful, and statistics show that the most dangerous time for a victim is when she finally escapes."

Louise O'Neill, author. Photograph Moya Nolan

Dear Louise, I don’t know how to support a friend who has told us she has been in an abusive relationship for over two years, and has been subjected to coercive control and gaslighting. I feel we should have known and spotted the signs. 

I don’t know how to help her. She’s working through ending the relationship and unwinding bits like their living situation, which is difficult as they have two kids together. I want her to know that we will do anything we can for her. How do I help her?