Bernard O'Shea: My five tiny new year's  resolutions for 2022

Bernard O'Shea says he's going to have one cup of coffee a day, but he's going to enjoy it. There will be tears and a lot of tea.

Bernard O'Shea. Photograph Moya Nolan

I'm a start Monday, New Year or next week person. I have massive aspirations to change, but that gigantic aspiration rarely becomes a reality without planning or motivation. My biggest issue is that my goals are always too big. I want to lose three stones in three months or have a six-pack by the summer or be able to run a marathon with only a couple of weeks of training. I fail usually, and everyone tells me the same thing "start small". I know consistent small changes amount to life-altering changes, but it bores me.

I've self-diagnosed myself with "Half-Arsed Sistine Chapel Affliction". I picture Michelangelo walking around the Sistine Chapel with Pope Julius II in my head. The Pope tells him, "Mick, just whitewash the ceiling sure nobody looks up there." Something clicks in Michelango's head. He spends the rest of his life lying on his back, obsessing over every tiny little detail.