Bernard O'Shea: Here are my five dos and don’ts of a camper van holiday

'Try before you buy, it will give you a good indication if you and your family can spend a vast amount of quality claustrophobic time together'

Bernard O'Shea says that it's a good idea to check the size of beds to make sure you fit. Photograph Moya Nolan

Like thousands of other families in the last year, we have purchased a second-hand camper van and we’re just back from our first four wheeled adventure. Here's what I've learned about taking a camper van holiday.

Do buy your camper van from a reputable dealer especially if it’s second hand. It needs to be serviced by people who know what they are doing. You might be handy with a spanner, but camper vans are a whole different kettle of moving fish. Ours is fifteen years old. When a moving house on wheels is that old it’s not a case of "if” something goes wrong it’s more a case of “when” things go wrong. We had a few minor issues and the dealer was able to advise us on what to do and fixed all our problems. We bought ours from Anchor Point, Killaloe. They have been there for years and were excellent to deal with.

Do rent first. My wife knew what she wanted and spent most of her childhood holidays in caravans and tents. However, I wouldn’t blow the family savings on what can be an eye watering expense if you’re not 100% sure. A four-birth camper van new generally starts from around €65k. A lot of families rent and see if they like them first. The idea of the open road and the go anywhere attitude is compelling however you could arrive at your dream destination and realise that you don’t actually fit into any of the beds (I’m 6 ft 2) and the dream becomes a nightmare. It will also give you a good indication if you and your family can spend a vast amount of quality claustrophobic time together. Think Graham Norton in Father Ted.

Do marry into a family that have been camping and caravanning for twenty years. Personally, the thoughts of a camper van, caravan or God forbid, a tent, filled me full of dread. However, my wife and her family have been caravanning for her whole life. So I can just pick up the phone and call her Dad when the toilet isn’t working because the kids played with it relentlessly like the most amazing Christmas present they ever got. If you don’t have in-laws that can advise there are several online forums and you have loads of people that will help you in the camp sites when you get there.

Do book ahead into a good camp site. This depends on who’s in the camper. If it’s just yourself and your partner then the world is your oyster however, if you're going with kids, do yourself a massive favour and book a spot in a site with amenities. We stayed in Flemming’s Campsite in Killarney. It’s well known and very popular and like most good sites books up months in advance. It has washing facilities, toilets, electric/water points, and a small shop and most importantly, very large and clean shower blocks. This can be a life saver when your so-called family uses all the water on you EVERY MORNING.

 Moreover, its very family focused so your kids can cycle around and make new friends in safety. If you are planning on pulling up at the side of the road, make sure that’s its legally allowed first and that your leisure battery (an extra battery that kicks in when you are not plugged into the mains) is fully charged. Otherwise you’ll be scrambling around at 4 am in the morning looking for the tiny flash light you bought for such an emergency.

Do bring your car. This one is controversial. My friend Neil pointed out the ambiguity to me when I told him that we were bringing the family car as well: “Sure isn’t the whole point to a camper that you can just take off without a car?” Yes and no. 

Yes, if you are just heading off for a day or two and have no plans to leave the site, but rounding Slea Head in a one bed house on wheels is a terrifying ordeal. Also, simple things like popping to the shops means you're bringing your house with you. The benefit that we find with the camper is that you're not pulling a caravan that can have the tendency to fishtail or having to do all the set up too when you arrive.

Don’t try and fix something yourself. You wouldn’t go at the plumbing in your house so don’t think you can fix a water pump in a couple of minutes on your holidays. Unlike your house, there are chemicals involved in the toilet. If your gas stove isn’t working leave it alone. My wife normally calls ‘A MAN’ to fix these things. I get slightly emasculated but it’s well worth it when you’re not waking up to the smell of propane at 4am.

Don’t forget the time. If you’ve decided to go for it and just bring the camper make sure you don’t arrive back to your site late. Some places lock the entry at night for security reasons and if even if you do have 24-hour access, reversing and levelling a van in the darkness when you’re tired is a recipe for a good old row which will definitely wake up your neighbours.

Don’t bring the kitchen sink. You're already bringing it! There is no point in packing every morsel of food you think you might eat. In most vans the kitchen and fridges are small, so space is at a premium. Even if you decide on going to Outer Mongolia there’s probably a Supervalu on the outskirts of Ulaanbaatar.

Don’t dismiss second-hand vans. My wife got ours re-upholstered in Killmallock, Co Limerick (big shout out to Pat O’Connor) and it made a massive difference. As she says it “new to us”. Or be savvy and wait for the Camper Fever to die down. It's possible there could be a lot of them for sale when international travel fully reopens.

And finally don’t forget to check your licence. It's not legal to drive all campers on a normal driving licence. Check out ndls.ie or ask your dealer before you purchase depending on berths (how many people the van sleeps and carries) and weight you may need a heavy vehicle one or as we’d say in Laois a “Lurry Licence.” 

Just one more thing. Bring board games. We’ve had a glorious summer but its Ireland and there’s always a chance it could dare I say it … rain!