Sonya Lennon: 'Brendan and I always say that when it stops being fun, we'll walk away'

I've heard really successful women stand up on stage and say they've been really lucky and I wonder, have they? They've worked really hard and fearlessly grasped opportunities.

Sun, 01 Aug, 2021 - 10:55

Martha Brennan

I had a ridiculously beautiful upbringing. My parents were hugely supportive, even of my not-so-straightforward choices. It's something that. I only fully appreciated much later. Our circumstances have changed quite dramatically as my mum is now in residential care with dementia. It's about holding firm as a family, making tough decisions, and using that love for each other as fuel to get through the really hard times.

In the last few years, I've really thought about what my natural resources are — and for me it's communication. I communicate through clothes, stories, and building relationships. It's really the foundation of everything that I do. The good thing about it is that it's a pretty applicable skill. At the moment, Brendan Courtney and I are both doing a masters in business equality, diversity, and inclusion. You could say that's a million miles away from fashion but it's not. It all comes back to communication.

The challenges that I have faced have been around first dipping my toe into the world of business. I was getting out of styling, which I had been doing for 20 years, and the broadcasting didn't faze me at all, I really enjoyed Off the Rails. But once I founded Dress for Success, Lennon Courtney, and then Frockadvisor, which didn't make it, that was a different story.

For us, the challenges around Frockadvisor and that failure created a knock-on challenge for the people we brought with us and that was very tough — to let them go, close two offices, let our shareholders down, and reconcile with ourselves after all that hard work. But every challenge is an opportunity to learn. There are people in this world who face challenges minute by minute and I'm in a privileged position that I am not one of them.

When I look through my camera roll over the past year and pick out the moments that made me joyful they were all the simple things. Walks on the beach, swims, and dinner with my family. That's the gold really at the end of the day. I have amazing friends and two amazing families — one that made me and one that I made — and I think those relationships are my proudest achievement. My sister, my husband Dave, and my friend Catherine are the people I turn to most.

'Brendan Courtney and I are both doing a masters in business equality, diversity, and inclusion. You could say that's a million miles away from fashion but it's not.'

I remember when I had just been given the license for Dress for Success and I was terrified. I had never done anything like it before. I sat on the couch and burst into tears when the email came in. I was at a party afterward and I got really upset and someone said to me: "the thought of doing something is always 100 times worse than actually doing it". It was the greatest advice I've ever been given. What holds us back is fear, doubt, indecision, and inaction. If you actually just get up and do it, it's probably not as bad as you think it is.

The lesson I would like to pass on is that you only get one go. There's a book called The Top Five Regrets When You Die that includes things like not spending time with people you love, not taking chances, and not living your true self. All these things are really simply rectified. I think I can always be better and continue to grow and be curious. The minute that that shuts down, you start to age. The elixir of youth is the open-eyed quest to get better and learn more.

I am driven to empower women and make them feel stronger, prouder, and more confident. I'm endowed with very kind self-esteem and strong confidence and not many people would say that. I've heard really successful women stand up on stage and say they've been really lucky and I wonder, have they? They've worked really hard and fearlessly grasped opportunities. It's so important to share the message that personal success doesn't happen by chance.

My sense of humour is probably my greatest quality. It's gotten me through an awful lot. Even in the dark days when mum was going into care. Brendan and I always say that when it stops being fun we'll walk away. We still have a laugh and really enjoy each other. Shared humour is everything to me.

I don't trade a lot in fear. However, there is a very deep-seated fear that anything will happen to my children. It just lives with me as a mom. It's kind of buried but it's always there. The fear of getting dementia, as my mother has, is also there.

At one stage in our lives, Dave was going to take a job in London in a graphic design studio and at that time I said I'd go with him and study shoe design. He didn't take the job, but I think if I had made that decision to uproot myself at that stage, things would have happened very differently. It's not that one fork of the path works out and one doesn't, you just get different results.