Bernard O'Shea: On the hunt for a sustainable sausage to suit my flexitarian diet

Bernard O'Shea. Photograph Moya Nolan

Although I have lived in Dublin for the last twenty years I still say 'I am going for the messages,' when I go to the shops. It’s a linguistic vestiture of my ingrained culchie soul that cannot be changed. What has changed radically in twenty years is what I buy when I get to the checkout and more importantly why I buy it.

Growing up I had breakfast, dinner and tea. There were no 'snacks' in the house. The only people who had snacks in their houses were the actors on U.S sitcoms. A.L.F for instance would call a 'pizzaaa' when he failed to catch and eat the household cat while The Golden Girls would sit down and have a sandwich between lunch and dinner (this always fascinated me).

Whatever my mother bought for the dinner that day was cooked and eaten on the day. A concept that I cannot get the hang of when it comes to my own family. I usually end up cooking three different meals for three different little people and end up throwing half of it out.

I don’t mind if they don’t like something or if they're not hungry. I don’t make them eat it but I hate throwing out food. It is possibly my personal classic Irish guilt of being told 'there are people in the world who have no dinner' but it’s also knowing that a plant has taken time to grow or an animal has been reared and slaughtered to give us food that annoys me when I scrape most of into the bin.

I've got a double problem

I still harbour dreams of moving to the country and growing my own vegetables and rearing chickens and pigs. I’m currently rewatching Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s River Cottage series. I look on and dream of curing my own ham and milking goats while ordering a pizza on the Just-Eat app. Oh, the irony!

I have never grown food. I bought a basil plant once and it died within a day. I have however managed to keep two goldfish alive since the start of lockdown. As my wife so eloquently put it to me the other night as I watched Hugh build his own chicken coop, “You’ve got a double problem, Bernard. You're a daydreamer and a lazy bollocks”

She’s 100% right. I know sustainable food is important but I want it to be convenient. I’m never going to be Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall but I love going 'for the messages' so what can I buy that’s sustainable for my family? The answer for the O’Sheas is sausages.

Links to sustainability

The most sustainable food in our home is sausages. They are always eaten and I never end up throwing any of them out. I know there are a million arguments made for a million types of food and the world is full of opinions on every food choice you make and everyone is an expert on those choices but I know my house and we - like - sausages.

So I asked myself the question that every Irish person has pondered for the last few thousand years “Is there a sustainable sausage?” Don’t get me wrong we love our pork sausages especially the classic Superquinn sausage that nearly caused a national meltdown when Super Valu tried calling it by a different name. We're also partial to Clonakilty sausages and sometimes I go way upmarket and get them off the butcher directly (I know a guy who knows a guy). I plan on someday hosting the Irish Sausage Awards, but only if I can sample every entrant. Get your mind out of the gutter, please.

Bernard likes all types of sausage - tradtitional, fancy, vegetarian...

I was surprised and relieved to see that Denny had a meat-free sausage. I was relieved because I know the brand and really didn’t want to go through the hassle of making them myself. Kerry Foods who make them are also making massive ground on sustainable food production and plan on being one of the world leaders in supplying sustainable ingredients.

According to them, “the total European plant-based market is expected to grow to €18.3bn by the year 2023. Of European plant-based food, consumers are eating meat alternatives several times a week. These products were previously targeted to just vegetarians and vegans. Now, consumer interest in sustainability and health has seen the category grow in audience, reaching flexitarians and traditional meat-eaters.”

Flexing the realms of my diet

And that’s what I am. I am a “Sausage Flexitarian”. I fall exactly into the category of someone who twenty years ago would have thought that vegetarian and vegan foods were not for me. But now I’m looking to mix and match. I am the human embodiment an almost case study of Flexitarianism, But does this sustainable sausage taste any good?

Saturday morning is fry morning in our house. I cooked the Superquinn, Clonakilty and the Denny meat-free. The kids preferred the pork ones but Olivia did point out “you should have just put the veggie ones on we wouldn’t have known” From now on I'll get my seven-year-old to do my market research.

I’ll still go for the meat option but I was really surprised by the texture of the meat-free sausage. More importantly, I was eating it because I’m now for the first time ever beginning to think about the difference I can make and not count on The Kyoto Protocol, C.A.P agreements or some half-arsed grand gesture to sustainability that I know I can’t make. So I’ve started with the simple sausage. I’m also going to start calling myself a flexitarian. P.S My wife still calls me a lazy b……