5 things I'll miss about Keeping Up With The Kardashians
(L-R) Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian Picture: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
All good things must come to an end, or so they say. I strongly disagree. Last night, while scrolling through twitter in order to distract me from my pandemic insomnia, I felt personally attacked when the news hit that my beloved will be coming to an end early next year.
During my early years of motherhood, KUWTK was a balm to my soul as I sat in an armchair with my darling babies, often still not dressed at 2pm and always feeling a little on the edge of reason. While I wrapped and changed and fed on a loop, the Kardashian women offered me exactly the kind of escapism that I needed.
Oh the babies. So many babies. From Mason all the way down to True, the latest addition, we have had front row seats to the arrival of each new Kardashian. Kourtney gave birth to Mason the same year that my eldest son was born. I remember my utter shock as the entire family shuffled into the birthing suite and looked on as she laboured and gave birth. As a freshly minted mother myself – still bearing the battle scars of the labour room – watching Kourtney pulling her child out of her own body (yes, really), was like watching a horror movie – I couldn’t look away.
Family matriarch Kris Jenner has been just as compelling as her daughters. Part reality-television-witch-doctor, part overbearing mother – her own transformation over the show’s 14 years is one of its most remarkable successes. As the curator of the world’s most-loved reality television experiment, Kris has created million-dollar industries around her daughters, ensuring that their luxurious lifestyle is set for life, with or without the show.
now that kuwtk is ending, kris jenner will finally have the time to create the vaccine for corona https://t.co/D4IhUMBbpn
— aj 🦋 (@ajirixo) September 8, 2020
We’ve been there for their successes and their failures. There have been weddings to beat the band; weddings so fantastical that love really did seem all around. Until it wasn’t. Kim looked like a real-life angel when she married Kris Humphries in a wedding that reportedly cost $10 million, but sadly money can’t buy you forever, and their union lasted just 72 days. Rest easy though, she has found her one true love in Kanye West, and even an extremely questionable run for President won’t shake their bond.
Khloe’s romantic demise has played out for all the world to see. First, her wedding to NBA star Lamar Odom exploded in flames amidst his drug use and rumoured penchant for call girls and then, Tristan Thompson cheated on her days before she gave birth to their daughter, True. Kourtney had three children with Scott Disick and was a pioneer (before Gwyneth and Chris) of consciously uncoupling and co-parenting.
The two youngest sisters have shown their own mettle in the last number of years. Kendall has become one of the world’s most sought after models and Kylie may just be a business genius, having built a billion-dollar industry around imitating her own over-filled lips.
Oh the glam. The baking of makeup onto faces and the contouring of cheekbones and the roofing of hair that definitely did not come from a Kardashian's head. I will miss the glitz of KUWTK and having a front-row seat to their drama as it unfolds in real-time. I will miss Kris pretending to cook in her immaculate kitchen, while her personal chef minces around in the background. I will miss watching Kim pad around her strange cavernous beige house like a Pied Piper, her children trailing behind her. I will miss Khloe and her perfectly symmetrical cookie jars – displayed but never eaten – and the way she calls her daughter ‘Mama’. I will miss the epic sister fights, where fake tan inevitably streaks across a wall or a freshly laundered white bedspread; showing that even the Kardashians have to deal with tide marks.
In an industry dominated by men, the Kardashian women have proven that a female-led model works. In work and in family, these unlikely leaders are the captains of their ships, proving that with money and nannies and drivers and crucially, a glam squad, dreams really can come true.
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