Baby shower or nesting party? The support mums really want before their baby's birth

Baby shower or nesting party? We ask four mums about the kind of support they would have liked in the run-up to their baby's birth and during the exhausting early weeks after the arrival 

Karen Prunty, founder of Little Roo, a parent and baby hub, loves the idea of a new mother’s friends coming to help with household tasks.

Baby showers have been in the news recently, between the surprise one arranged for Manchester actress Michelle Keegan by her closest friends, and the one organised by Irish rugby player Andrew Porter and his wife, Elaine, in anticipation of their son’s birth.

The concept of a party to celebrate the upcoming birth of a baby, where the mum-to-be is showered with gifts and favours, originated in the US. And so did a much more recent incarnation — the nesting party. It has yet to take off in any big way here, but last December, Pinterest’s annual trend report predicted that in 2025, baby showers would “be out… and nesting parties will be in”.

Pinterest describes nesting parties as “helping new parents prepare for the postpartum period, setting up their homes for baby’s arrival with freezer-friendly meals, diaper bouquets, and baby cabinet organisation”.

US-based lactation consultant Allegra Gast’s Instagram reel about her nesting party was one of the first to go viral on the topic of this new prepare-for-your-baby party phenomenon. Gast described her friends “spending a few hours out of their Saturday to help me nest… we dived into the various tasks”. These included organising baby clothes, making padsicles — frozen sanitary pads that help relieve postpartum pain and swelling — and making mineral bath soaks with kelp, sea salt, and Epsom salts to aid post-birth healing.

Gas posted: “Someone made freezer meals, someone else washed bottles. I had a station where my friends [wrote] words of encouragement.”

It all sounds practical, in contrast to being showered with gifts of babygros and bodysuits. This prompted us to ask four mums what support they found truly useful — or what practical help they would have liked — in the run-up to their baby’s arrival, and particularly during those sleep-deprived, rollercoaster early weeks following the birth.

Karen Prunty 

Karen Prunty mum of four and stepmum to one, is founder of Little Roo, which runs antenatal, post-natal, and toddler classes in the Dublin area. She has come across nesting parties on social media. “I haven’t heard of it in Ireland yet, but it’s an amazing idea.

Karen Prunty, founder of Little Roo, a parent and baby hub, loves the idea of a new mother’s friends coming to help with household tasks. Picture: Moya Nolan

“I love that your community of friends and family come in to help sort out all the jobs on the long list of preparing for your baby, people helping you, lifting the load — it’s fantastic,” says Prunty, a neonatal nurse specialist and mum to Robyn, three, Cillian, six, Ethan, 10, Lauren, 15, and stepmum to Aaron, 20.

Would she choose a baby shower or a nesting party, if she had the chance? “Can I have both?” she asks, but adds: “Part of me really likes the idea of the nesting party, but if I had to pick one I’d go for the baby shower — there’s something really luxurious about it, though it should be ‘mum and baby shower’.”

Nicole Murphy

When solo-mum-by-choice Nicole Murphy was pregnant with now 10-year-old twins, Will and Maya, friends offered to arrange a baby shower. “I said, ‘Please don’t’ — I knew people would be giving enough when the babies arrived,” says the Listowel-based creator of Magneplan, a magnetic meal-planner display system.

Murphy found tremendous practical support in the aftermath of her twins’ birth in the form of gifts of time. 

“People wanted to come over, but I’d have only one person visit per day and I’d have them come at feeding time — otherwise, it’d upset the routine and the babies’ sleep. I was bottle-feeding — I’d hand one twin to the visitor, so they could be useful and feed the baby.

“I was quite bold — I’d tell people what time to visit and give a going away time, too.”

Murphy recalls another friend preferring not to give her a material gift. Instead, she gave her time, one and a half hours weekly. 

Nicole Murphy with her twin children who are now 10 years old.

“She wanted me to give her a job to do in that time. She did it for six weeks altogether. She’d come on Saturday nights at bath time, which was very handy. I could bathe one baby and hand them over to be fed, then I’d bathe the second and feed that one.”

Before ever having her twins, Murphy had been convinced of the value of gifting time to new parents after spending a week helping out a relative who had just had a baby.

“Four of us did it altogether; close family. We took turns, each taking a week, Sunday to Sunday. The mum had three kids under three and her husband’s job meant he had no flexibility to take time off.

“It was pretty practical — get up in the morning, empty the dishwasher, take the clothes from the washing machine and hang them on the line, feed the other children breakfast and take them to the park, so Mum could wash, feed the baby, and have a shower. You’d do the washing up, any shopping needed, cook dinner in the evening — it was basically be the housekeeper for a week.

“It took the pressure off, having this extra pair of adult hands around,” says Murphy, adding that such practical assistance was traditional “in the old days — people would have done it naturally”.

Prunty, who was 39 when she had Robyn, would have loved more help. “I wish I’d had more people around me, to hold the baby whether I wanted a rest or a bath… I found it really hard to ask for help.”

For this reason, she likes the idea of family and friends teaming up to gift new parents a voucher for a post-natal doula. “Someone to come into your home, help you with your baby, do the housekeeping, the baby’s clothes, the bottles. Sometimes it’s easier to take help when it has been paid for.”

Claire Murray

Lucan-based Claire Murray is mum to three-year-old Oscar and five-year-old Lila. She owns Mucky Picnic, which runs sensory play classes in Kidspace, Rathcoole. 

Claire Murray while pregnant with Lila in March 2020. 

A really practical gift that made a big difference after she had Lila came from her sister, who bought her a week’s worth of ready-made fresh dinners.

“You went on the website, ordered the dinners you wanted. They delivered them all at once in a box you just popped in a freezer and reheated as you wanted.
"It was great knowing your food was ready for the day, you didn’t have to stress. And all the dinners had loads of vegetables, so you knew you were getting your nutrients in.”

Marian Kennedy

Clonmel mum of four Marian Kennedy— her children are Emily, nine, Grace, four, and two-year-old twins Jack and David — is founder of anewmum which creates pregnancy and postpartum hygiene products for new mothers. She describes as “a godsend” a friend’s gift of a ‘welcome-to-parenthood’ bundle from Eatto which delivers handmade meals nationwide.

“A week’s worth of dinners — soup, main course, sides, dessert — gave me the opportunity to pick and choose what we’d have each day. I had newborn twins, plus I’d had a C-section. It would have been very difficult to be standing cooking. This made things very easy.”

Murray had a baby shower before her first baby, but not before her second. “Before Lila, I had so much more time to plan it. When pregnant with Oscar, I was so busy with Lila that I didn’t have time.”

Baby showers are undoubtedly wonderful for celebrating the happy anticipation of a new baby, but they are heavily concentrated on guests and gifts. Many mums might be grateful for a stronger focus on practical support.