What to do when children find it hard to sleep on the night before Christmas
Billy, Clara and Ruadh Pierce with Marley at home in Bishopstown. Picture; Eddie O'Hare
On Christmas Eve it’s a tradition that sleigh bells ring in the garden of the Bishopstown-based Pierce family. And as soon as Billy, 11, Ruadh, nine, and Clara who’s almost six, hear these, they know it’s time for bed.
“We link bedtime on Christmas Eve into as many of the Christmas extras as we can,” says mum-of-three Fia Pierce, explaining that when the children visit Santa he reminds them about going to bed early.
“Their letter back from Santa always includes a line about going to bed at 7.30pm on Christmas Eve, and for Billy a later time.
“The elf comes on December 1. We link him in too. Before he heads back to the North Pole he always leaves a letter stating the Christmas Eve bedtimes.”
Otherwise, Fia and husband Jason don’t change the family routines too much on Christmas Eve. “We make sure the children get out in the fresh air to blow off a bit of steam early in the day. We go to Farran Wood or the playground, go cycling or walking. We build it in early — before calling to [extended] family later.”
But Fia admits it can be hard to keep the kids in bed on Christmas morning. “We encourage them to stay in bed until 5am. We say Santa could still be downstairs. They’re up anytime from 5am looking at their Christmas stocking. At about 6am we let them downstairs.”
For most families, getting excited children to sleep on Christmas Eve is tricky. Sleep consultant and parent coach Clare Mc Carthy believes in sticking to as normal a routine as possible – but at the same time cutting yourself some slack. “Decide what parts of the routine you’re going to do the same, and what parts you’ll let go. It’s best if parents are aligned on this.”
She says it’s important to let children know what the Christmas days are going to look like. “Children do better when they know what’s coming next. It helps them prepare for what the day’s going to bring.”
Based in Britain, the mum-of-two says they’ll all be spending Christmas with family in Ireland. “I’ve prepared the children around how Santa comes to a different location — we’ve written to him and let him know so he’ll be able to find us. On Christmas Eve night, I’ll have brought their familiar teddy and a pillowcase from home so it smells like theirs. We’ll bring their gro clock with us and set it for when it’s time to get up.”
McCarthy is a fan of counting down to bedtime on Christmas Eve. “If children are slightly older, you might start with ‘we’re going to bed in an hour’. Or you might start with 30 minutes, then 15, then five more minutes to go. You’ll meet a lot less resistance because you’re not [suddenly] plucking them out from the middle of an activity. They feel they’ve some autonomy.”
Tipperary-based counsellor Majella Kennedy recommends watching how you build up to Christmas. “What has the build-up been like? Has it been set over a very long time, which can lead to frustration, impatience, to being over-excited and over-stimulated?”
Building up too much to a future event takes you away from the present moment, she says. "And the present moment is the best place we can be. Being too future-focused brings anxiety. The only moment we can be OK in is the present — these are important things to teach children.”
Between now and Christmas Eve, she suggests exploring what Christmas means and broadening its meaning so it’s not just about ratcheted-up anticipation of way too many presents. “Is it just about waking up to loads of presents under the tree to unwrap? Or is there something of value we want to cultivate in our children?
“Maybe prior to Christmas Eve, we could do a little clear-out of toys and books — and talk about children who won’t be getting the stuff on their list, so as to give a broader sense of what Christmas is about and develop a sense of sharing.”
The excitement surrounding Christmas is a magical element of childhood, but we still want them calm enough to sleep on Christmas Eve, so they (and you) can enjoy the occasion all the better. So what can we do to bring the excitement down to sleep-compatible levels?
“Avoid letting them sleep late on Christmas Eve morning. Get them up around 7.30am. If you want them to go to bed at a timely hour, you want them awake long enough to be able to do that. You’ve a better chance of getting them to bed early if you keep normal timing during the day. And get them out in the fresh air. Exposure to bright natural light promotes sleep.
“As the evening unfolds, begin to dim and quieten everything — admittedly hard if you’ve visitors calling. Some children are deeply impacted and highly reactive to their environment. A lot aren’t — but do try to avoid screens (particularly hand-held devices/electronic media) for two hours pre-bedtime.
“If you’re not going to be in your own home on Christmas Eve, spend time in the bedroom where your child will sleep – well ahead of bedtime. And bring blankets from home. Familiar items/touch/smell helps ground the senses, in turn helping the body feel safe and allowing sleep to happen.
“Keep an eye on children’s sugar intake. Sugar is a stimulant, potentially making it harder to switch off and go to sleep at bedtime. Avoid big meals in the two hours before bedtime. Instead give a sleep-promoting snack, e.g. Weetabix with warm milk and honey or a banana – good sleep-promoting foods.”
She recommends a slightly longer bedtime routine on Christmas Eve. “Do low-key, quiet activities on a rug on the floor: reading, cuddles, spot the difference, Mr Potato Head, to help the transition from awake and alert — and sometimes very excitable — to going to sleep.”
Wolfe says ‘no’ to Christmas stockings in the bedroom. “The idea that Santa’s going to come into their bedroom can unnerve some children.
“Set expectations about the time children will wake/get up on Christmas morning. “Acknowledge that it’s lovely to look forward to tomorrow, but remind them ‘it won’t be starting until…’”
McCarthy recommends doing right by your family and not feeling pressure to let your children stay up late because other house guests are being more permissive with their children. “If you want, go with the flow [of what everybody else is doing], but it’s good to keep some semblance of normal routine — 80/20 is good.
"Let them have a late bedtime here and there, but remember late going to bed doesn’t mean a lie-in — sometimes it means an earlier wake-up the next morning.”
Invest in your own self-care, says Kennedy. “Give yourself time out, so you’re less likely to snap or have a row. The better I am as parent, the better my child will be.”
Most importantly, she says, build self-care into Christmas Eve. “This might be three 10-minute slots. It might be as simple as going into another room with a cup of tea, or going for a walk – whatever recharges your battery.
“Because if you’re in a better space yourself, you’re more likely to take action — rather than react — when there’s a tantrum or tears.
And if things don’t go according to plan, be a little bit Zen about it, says Mc Carthy. “Lean into it. Accept. Enjoy. Make memories and have fun.”
And why not — after all, it’s Christmas.
Read More
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
