Workplace Wellbeing: Should you stay or should you go? 

Low salary and lack of career progression can be reasons to quit a job, but there are also reasons to stay, such as bills to pay and family responsibilities. Making the decision can be difficult. 

Fiona O'Neill, Count on Us Recruitment, outside her home in Mullinahone Co Tipperary,

FIONA O’NEILL reached a turning point in her professional life in 2013. The 45-year-old, from Tipperary, is now the CEO of Count On Us Recruitment, but back then she worked for an insurance company.

“I’d started to climb the corporate ladder,” she says. “By my 30s, having invested in myself personally, professionally, and academically, I had a full-time job I enjoyed that provided health insurance and a pension. But my life circumstances changed and even though it was so difficult, I had to walk away from that career.”

What changed was that her marriage ended and one of her two children became ill with a serious autoimmune condition. As result, O’Neill had to take time off work.

Initially, she used her holiday leave. After that had run out, her employer granted her a day’s parental leave each week to attend hospital appointments, but then co-workers started requesting the same arrangement.

O’Neill asked if she could work part-time or job share, but that wasn’t possible. “Over time, I came to see I was going to have to decide between working full-time or leaving my job,” says O’Neill. “I’m a mammy first and foremost. My decision had to be to care for my son.”

Not everyone’s choice is as stark as O’Neill’s was, but many of us will arrive at a stage of our careers where we question our commitment to our work. How can we decide whether to stay or go?

Organisational psychologist and chartered member of the Psychological Society of Ireland, Ruth Mullally, says we should pay attention to telltale signs.

“If there are no more learning opportunities and you feel you can gain better experience elsewhere, if there is no career progression, if there are better working conditions and salary in another role, if you’re not getting on with your manager or there’s tension in the workplace, or if there’s a lack of recognition and you feel undervalued, the time could be right to leave,” she says.

Mary Collins, a chartered workplace psychologist at the RCSI Centre for Positive Health Sciences, adds an important caveat: “We all have bad days at work, but our lack of fulfilment or satisfaction has to be persistent for it to be seen as a sign it’s time to leave”.

A difficult choice

Even if there’s no denying the signs, it’s not always easy to walk away. Many of us fear change.

“The devil we know is better than the devil we don’t,” says Mullally. “Psychologist Carol Dweck outlined how we either have a growth mindset or a fixed one. With a fixed mindset, we’re likely to stay in our comfort zones for fear of failure.

“But with a growth mindset, we’re likely to push ourselves to try new experiences.”

Collins acknowledges that most of us also have practical constraints to consider. “People may not be in a financial position to risk leaving their jobs. They also have family responsibilities and have to think about how their choices impact others.”

But it doesn’t always have to be a binary choice between staying and leaving.

There are steps we can take to rekindle our job satisfaction. Collins advises us to start by reminding ourselves what initially drew us to our role. “Our negativity bias makes us focus on the frustrations of our current situation, but it can be helpful to reflect on what we enjoy about our work and the positive impact it has,” she says. “Even shifting our focus to what our job offers — the fact it gives us a salary, stability, a daily routine and paid holidays — may be enough to help us keep going.”

Mullally recommends cultivating flow. She defines flow as “a mental state in which we’re completely absorbed in a task and challenged, but capable of achieving that challenge. We’re focused entirely on the present and enjoying the task for the activity involved”.

That’s how we can rediscover passion for our work.

Job crafting can ensure we have opportunities for flow.

Mary Collins, chartered workplace psychologist at the RCSI Centre for Positive Health Sciences

According to Collins, job crafting is “the process of proactively reshaping your job to better fit your strengths, passions, and values”.

If possible, she urges us to identify the parts of our jobs we enjoy most and try to build on them.

“For example, if you like training and development, ask your line manager if you could deliver some training workshops,” she says.

Another tactic is zoning in on the social side of the workplace. Having people we trust and enjoy working with can make a huge difference to our day-to-day experience of work.

“We’re social creatures, and building deep connections with co-workers can add an extra level of meaning to our jobs,” says Collins.

“With more of us now working on a hybrid or remote basis, we need to be more intentional than ever about building relationships by meeting colleagues in person, or at least having telephone conversations. MS Teams and Zoom calls are no substitute.”

Research career options

Changing our surroundings can change our mindset and Mullally advises making use of the options. “A change can be as good as a rest. Moving to an office or co-working space can reduce feelings of isolation, while working from home can allow space to analyse an issue or think more creatively.”

And we should reward ourselves for the work we do, to boost self-worth and motivation. “These rewards can take lots of different formats, from going for a walk once a task is completed to having a cup of tea or giving yourself a gift after a particularly busy period at work. It’s important to have something to look forward to and to celebrate successes, no matter how small.”

And fulfilment can be found by developing hobbies and skills outside of work. Collins once worked with an accountant who harboured dreams of becoming a sports writer.

“He couldn’t afford to start over in a new field, so, instead, he started writing for a community newspaper on a volunteer basis,” she says. “It scratched that itch for him, and he became more satisfied in his life.”

Our experts also recommend planning for the long term. “People spend more time researching their summer holidays than thinking about their careers,” says Collins.

“That’s not a sensible approach to take, especially if you’re considering leaving your job. Put time and energy in to making a fully informed decision. Seek guidance from a coach or mentor or enrol on training courses.”

Staying up to date through industry workshops, seminars, or conferences can help, too, says Mullally. “Or joining professional organisations, where you can grow your network, meet like-minded people, and learn about work relevant to your field.”

As for O’Neill, she spent two years working full-time as her son’s carer. She received a carer’s allowance but it came with the condition that she could not work more than 15 hours a week and she found such part-time work impossible to find.

“Financially, we needed the income,” she says. “Personally I was starting to feel isolated. And professionally, I knew I had skills and experience to give to the workforce.”

One day, it struck her that there had to be other family carers in the same situation, and that’s how her recruitment business was born. It helps carers source jobs that match the family carer’s criteria.

“It also promotes family carer wellbeing,” says O’Neill. “Because employment isn’t just about having a payslip. I know first hand that it’s a source of emotional, social, and psychological benefits.”