Leaving Cert: Five things parents can do to help your teen through exam time stress

With the Leaving Cert starting today, what are five things parents need to know to help their teen through it? Here’s what experts say

How to support your teen during exam season.

Your role is to support your child:

“What you do naturally as a parent to ensure your child feels loved and comforted is what you should do now,” says Luke Saunders, teacher and founder of Studyclix.ie. 

“It’s the meal you have ready when they arrive home, reassuring them you love them whatever the exam outcome. Ask what they’d like you to cook on the evening of the first exam, so they know their favourite meal will be waiting.

It’s examining your schedule, taking a half-day from work on days they’ve two exams, so you’re home ahead to support them. Can you take some holidays during the exam, so you can drive your child to/from school? Or even finish work early on days your child’s doing exams ‘til 5pm.” 

National Parents’ Council services manager Catherine Cross agrees. “The study’s done at this stage. Look after their emotional health and wellbeing.” 

She advises reminding siblings that the exam child needs extra support right now. “Encourage parking any conflicts.” 

Go easy on advice:

Avoid saying ‘it’ll be grand’, or ‘so-and-so didn’t do well in the Leaving Cert and look at them now’, says Cross. “Instead, acknowledge: ‘this is a tough time, but it’s a set period in your life, it will end and we will get through it’.

“Ask: ‘is there something you need me to do for you?’ That could be a hug, or ‘shut up Mum’ — or just to listen.” Put things in perspective. 

“Explore their expectations. What are they hoping for? What happens if they don’t get this — is there another option they can consider? Talk about varying levels of success.

“And let them know you’re there for them, regardless of results.” Saunders recommends building resilience by reminding your child most students experience a ‘catastrophe’ during the Leaving Cert — poet they banked on didn’t turn up, they forgot a question. 

“Kids get so worked up by one thing not going their way, it really throws them during an exam. Let them know this can happen — that what matters, if you trip mid-race, is to pick yourself up, keep running.” 

Take care of before-and-after:

Make sure the practical stuff’s taken care of well ahead, says Cross. “Ensure they’ve everything they need, from erasers and calculator to uniform — lay it out the night before.” 

Saunders advises pointing out the invigilator’s role. “They’re always very forthcoming if you’re stuck on the meaning of a word, or can't understand what a question requires you to do.” 

And post-exam: “You know your child. Read the signals. Don’t force them to talk if you get the vibe they don’t want to. If they do, it’s very healthy to let them talk about the exam — but not every little detail. A post-mortem’s fine once it’s short!

“Move the conversation on then to what’s next. What’s the rest of the race looking like? In that way, you build resilience,” says Saunders.

Encourage a healthy study/leisure balance:

“Cramming and getting straight into bed isn’t conducive to sleep,” says Cross. “Encourage them to join the family for meals. Suggest going for a walk. Get them to maintain some part of their usual routine around sports and extracurricular activities.” 

Studying in shorter bursts, and mixing it up a bit — studying subject they don’t like alongside one they do — can be helpful.

Guide them on phone use, urges Saunders. A 2023 Studyclix survey of 1,000+ post-primary students found well over one-third use smartphones for over four hours a day — and 16% use their phones for 6 plus hours daily.

“Days are really tight during exam time. Students put in hours of exams, they’re home late — and they need seven/eight hours sleep before the next day. Students want to talk to friends after an exam — ‘wasn’t it awful’, ‘wasn’t it great’. But you don’t want them spending hours on their various channels, asking ‘how did you find question six?’” 

Get body and brain running in top gear:

“Breakfast’s essential, says Safefood nutritionist Dr Aileen McGloin. “Try wholegrain toast with chopped banana and glass of low-fat milk. Or wholegrain cereal topped with berries and milk.

“If too nervous to eat a whole breakfast, encourage some light bites: slice of wholegrain toast with low-fat spread, pot of low-fat yoghurt, piece of fruit.” Stock up on healthy snacks. 

“Fresh fruit, popcorn, fruit scones, dried fruit, yoghurt or nuts keep energy levels steady and help maintain concentration. Whereas sweet treats give an energy high, followed by a low.” 

Nutritionist Kathryn Stewart advises putting fish on the menu. “Oily fish — salmon/trout/sardines/mackerel — are a great omega 3 source, helping support brain development and focus. Put salmon stir fry on the menu. Add smoked salmon to eggs for a weekend breakfast.” 

• Mental health charity Turn2Me has free online support groups for students and parents feeling stressed about the Leaving Cert. The support groups will run on Thursdays for three weeks, on the 16th, 23rd and 30th May, at 6pm – visit https://turn2me.ie/.

This article was originally published in June 2023