Meaningful happiness can take work — but it's possible

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Meaningful happiness does not sit at the bottom of a wallet, behind the wheel of a car, or in a newly redecorated kitchen. These moments of happiness are fleeting and difficult to sustain. It’s challenging for us to ascertain what will continue to make us happy or how long those moments of happiness will last. 

Mary McHugh, CEO and founder of counsellingonline.ie

However, we are capable of finding the silver linings in everyday life which will help to create happiness in a more meaningful way. Happiness is, however, quite subjective as everyone has a different understanding of what will make them happy.

“Happiness is a personal and individual experience,” says Mary McHugh, CEO and founder of counsellingonline.ie, “which means that what makes one person happy may not have the same effect on someone else. Each person has their own unique combination of factors that contribute to their happiness. By recognising and giving importance to these factors, individuals can work towards cultivating greater happiness in their lives.”

Happiness has been shown to improve our relationships with others and with ourselves, contributing to overall better psychological wellbeing. While some of us are more predisposed towards happiness than others, happiness does not come as natural to some and so they may attempt to buy into a manufactured happiness. But as McHugh says, “happiness is a multibillion-dollar industry” which targets us all as we seek out happiness, but money will never produce long-term influential happiness.

“Happiness is possible for us all,” she says, “but it takes a lot of work for some, reframing how they see things, taking responsibility for what is happening in their lives and a willingness to change things if they do not fit or make us unhappy. Happiness is an innate feeling within us and comes from our relationships and our experiences and how we feel about ourselves. We can make it, but it comes from deep compassionate work with yourself.”

Dr Dean McDonnell, lecturer of Psychology at Southeast Technological University

We may consider the effect life events can have on our happiness levels, but we often find that some semblance of happiness can occur even after traumatic or difficult events as we choose to synthesise a level of happiness within us. We have also often questioned the effect social media has on our emotional wellbeing and happiness levels.

However, Dr Dean McDonnell, lecturer of Psychology at Southeast Technological University, has researched this idea, along with his colleagues.

“Social media is a tool for communication, and there are lots of different types of social media, and lots of different ways social media is used,” says McDonnell. “Myself and colleagues in the Psychological Society of Ireland, the British Psychological Society, and the American Psychological Association sought to answer this exact question in a paper last year and concluded that screen media plays little role in mental health concerns. In particular, there was no evidence that screen media contribute to suicidal ideation or other mental health outcomes. This result was also true when investigating smartphones or social media specifically."

Because of the subjective nature of happiness, understanding it is a little more complicated than rating happiness on a scale. If one person’s happiness level sits at a five and another person’s falls at a seven, how can we measure happiness as we report on our experience?

“Happiness means something different to everyone so, in psychology, we try to factor and control for these things as much as possible. There are lots of different types of happiness to try to consider,” says McDonnell.

“We use a range of methods like questionnaires or can measure the production of neurochemicals.”

Happiness can be formed through natural and synthetic means suggesting that our happiness levels are based not only on our psychological experience of life, but also the science behind the neurochemicals that impact our happiness levels.

“All forms of happiness are technically manufactured naturally by a balance of neurochemicals produced by our body,” says McDonnell who is the membership secretary for the Psychological Society of Ireland.

“We can't truly measure something as subjective as happiness, but we can get close — we think! Everything we experience will influence the production of neurochemicals, some of which are called dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol. In very simplistic terms, if we experience something stressful, our body will produce more of some neurochemicals, such as cortisol, which may make us feel more anxious.” McHugh believes that we can, without a doubt, synthesis happiness.

“Sometimes it may take an extreme event in our lives for us to begin to look at things differently, from a different viewpoint and begin to make the changes in our lives that move us towards a more positive way of seeing and being,” she says.

“Synthesising happiness means bringing together different things that make us happy. We can do this by doing things that make us feel good. Engaging in activities that bring us joy, spending time with loved ones, and pursuing our interests. Thinking positively and focusing on the good things in our lives and being grateful for them, even when things are challenging. Balancing our own happiness and relationships and taking care of ourselves, spending time with friends and family, because both personal fulfillment and social connections are important for happiness. Finding meaning and purpose by pursuing goals that are important to us and helping others. By combining and bringing together these different elements, we can create a happier and more fulfilling life.”

What brings you happiness?

What is happiness, anyway?

Podcaster, Blindboy Boatclub, says: “I don’t believe in happiness as a fixed state that can be attained, because suffering is an inevitable facet of being alive. Pursuing the illusion of happiness is endless and meaningless. We also confuse happiness with pleasure. I prefer instead to pursue meaning, I pursue meaning in whatever I do. Meaning can incorporate states of joy, frustration, and conflict. But so long as there is a purpose to it, then I have meaning. Happiness is a fleeting thing. But you can have meaning all day long.”

Amanda Cassidy, whose debut thriller, Breaking, is shortlisted for the Crime Writers’ Association, New Blood Dagger Award, and second novel, The Returned, is out this summer, has an “optimistic expectation out of this life". She believes “that the ratio of bad things to good things that happen will always lean more heavily towards happiness. But I’ve learnt that life takes place in the spaces between the peaks and troughs. I don’t chase happiness or seek it out, I just live. And when it comes my way, I grab it with both hands and appreciate its fleeting warmth."

“For me, happiness is extremely connected to nature — in light and sounds. It’s between the pages of a book, it’s building worlds in my head. It’s exploring new pockets of the world with my family. I feel so privileged to live — to experience life in all its brutal magnificence. I’ve learnt that even if happiness seems out of reach, it always comes back around. I want to live a hundred lives in one. That’s probably why I write.”