Returning to the office: back for good (or bad)?
David Brent: careful to avoid the terminally-uncool boss in your office
The reason was such brilliant, brilliant TV was because we all recognised at least an element of it. The annoying, embarrassing boss; the boss’ sidekick; the person who would avoid all work; the colleague who adored organised fun.
The makeup of an office is a very carefully balanced thing. An entire picture of society locked into 3000 sq ft with a keenly felt hierarchy that cannot be questioned.
Until a pandemic hits, then everyone is sent home and it’s suddenly a free-for-all. Mags, who organises the Lotto syndicate, is out of a job; Sean who puts up passive-aggressive signs about the shared microwave is left to pin them to his own fridge at home; and poor old Laura who keeps a detailed list of everyone’s birthday and buys six Colin the Caterpillar cakes a month is finally freed from a prison of her own making.
While some employers are in a rush to get teams back on site, the CSO has done some research on what people really want from work going forward, and it’s not good news for anyone hoping their staff will go back to sitting at desks in the offices they’re paying huge rent for.
In a survey conducted in November 2021, the CSO found that of those employees who can work remotely, 88% would like to continue doing so when all pandemic restrictions are removed. Of these, 28% said they would like to do so all the time. Some 60% said they would like to work remotely some of the time, and only 12% said they would not like to work remotely in the future.
It found that employees aged between 35 and 44 were the ones who would most like to work remotely all the time — could this have anything to do with juggling young families?
Working from home would be a big consideration in choosing a new job, too. The CSO found that 30% of those in employment, whose job could not be done remotely with their current employer, would be definitely (18%) or probably (12%) be attracted to a new job that could, and almost 58% of those not in employment would consider going back to work if it could be done remotely.
Ciara Spillane has 20 years’ experience in recruitment, hiring for firms like Google and Microsoft, and now runs her own career coaching consultancy, Positive Prospects.
She says that if you really can’t face going back into the office, now is the time to negotiate.
“Currently there is no legislation which allows the right to work from home, it is up to your employer to choose your place of work," she said.
"The good news is that the Government plans to introduce a bill which will allow employees to request remote or hybrid working. In the meantime, if you really do not want to return to the office, I would strongly recommend talking to your employer about continuing to work from home. If they refuse, it may be time to talk with your feet and move to one of the many companies who have embraced flexible, remote working.”
Laura Bourke, MD of Aspire Recruitment, agrees. Because companies are struggling to fill roles, it’s a great time to get what you want, but watch the timing of when you ask for it.
“At the moment, we have a talent shortage in Ireland," she said. "With that economic background, companies are generally being flexible in their approach with employees as we all exit the Covid-19 pandemic.
“A first-round interview isn’t always the best time to focus on asking about the benefits of any particular job, but a workaround can be to ask questions about the nature of the job, the systems available in terms of online access such as VPNs etc. These types of questions can lead to a conversation with regard to how to access the systems from home, for example.
"Generally, if an interviewer is interested in the person’s skillset for the job, they will mention benefits to the person. The most requested benefit coming out of the pandemic is definitely flexibility and remote working.”
Working from home has released us of many of the office constraints that we had hated, but two years in, and with a return now allowed, what are the things that we’re dreading the most?
When your commute for the last two years has been from your kitchen to the box room upstairs, it can be hard to face into the reality of leaving the house an hour before work starts. It feels like an unnecessary waste of everyone’s time and energy, and is particularly difficult for anyone involved in coordinating a school run with getting to work.
While some people say that their commute afforded them the luxury of a takeaway coffee, or time to read, or listen to a podcast, I say, sit outside in your car for 20 minutes before your first Zoom call. Find the ambient sounds of sneezing and people chatting on YouTube to get the full effects.
We’re quick to say that we’ve had it up to here with video meetings — and sure, they can be annoying — but the one thing they’ve allowed many of us to do is get half-dressed. A nice top or a shirt (and possibly a suit jacket for very formal meetings) have been teamed for almost two years with pyjama bottoms, tracksuit bottoms, and GAA shorts Paul Mescal would be proud of. A return to the office means a return to formal dressing, uncomfortable shoes and, I’m sorry to say, bras! It seems like a return to the office means a return to underwire and a literal pain in the boob.
Stylist and boutique owner Sarah Rickard says fear not — much like hybrid working, hybrid dressing is here to stay.
“It’s about having your wardrobe work for you and for you lifestyle," she says.
"It’s about expressing your personality, and it’s not about formality anymore, unless that’s what you want. Bright colours and cool trainers are all acceptable now. The world of work is open to that now, and has to be — there has been so much change and people have been stuck at home for so long that people want to show off their clothes wherever they can.”
A shared office kitchen may as well be a UFC cage. Battle lines are drawn, years-long feuds are started over a missing favourite mug, and at some point there may well be an all-out war over microwaved fish. There are spoken and unspoken rules in every office kitchen, but there is a fear that after so long of making elaborate lunches at home all office kitchen etiquette may well have been forgotten.
- Don’t microwave anything really stinky.
- Don’t make unnecessary small talk.
- Wash the cutlery and plate that you used.
- Don’t put empty milk containers back in the fridge.
- Don’t leave unidentifiable foods in the fridge for weeks on end.
- DO NOT TAKE SOMEONE’S FAVOURITE CUP
While we may agree with very little Boris Johnson says or does, we can all admit that if you’ve ever worked in an office you have, at some point, been ambushed by cake.
Whether it’s standing, smiling uncomfortably while your colleagues sing 'Happy Birthday' to you, or being asked to contribute to collections for big birthdays or leaving gifts, there seems to be weekly awkward events involving cake. While Covid has put an end to blowing out candles, can we ask Dr Tony or the WHO to say that singing in an office is bad for public health?
In the rush to get people back to the office after the Taoiseach’s Friday-evening announcement, there was once more a significant group forgotten about. The children — and, for the most part, working mums.
With afterschool programmes long abandoned and children being excluded from services for runny noses, a lot of parents had been juggling care of their families with working from home. Getting back to the office means that those children either have to run feral, become latchkey kids or have mums and dads (and let’s be honest, mainly mums) take precious annual leave to mind children that cannot just be abandoned — no matter how much we want to after two long years (joking!).
Remember how long it took you to find the perfect work chair? Yeah, well, it’s gone.
They all got taken away and sprayed with industrial cleaner months ago and even if — and it’s a big if — it made its way back to your desk, you can be sure that that devious sleeveen who had been eyeing it up for years crept into the office three weeks ago and robbed it.
Your Tipp-Exed name has long since been cleaned off, so you’ve no proof. But you know, and that fecker in accounts doesn’t realise how long you’re prepared to wait to get your revenge. It will be yours again, just you wait.
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