Colman Noctor: Temper tantrums open a window to child's inner world 

Children very quickly realise that if they really want the adults in the room to sit up and listen, then acting out is the most effective way of getting it

Picture: iStock 

We have all been this soldier: after saying 'yes' to the first three requests, we say ‘no’ to the forth one and our child reacts by screaming uncontrollably, hitting out, and/ or saying things like ‘I hate you’ or ‘I hate my life’. When it happens in a public place with onlookers, it can be one of the most embarrassing experiences as a parent.

Such incidents, often described as ‘meltdowns’ or ‘tantrums’, are among the most common queries I get about children aged between four and 11 years.  These children tend to not take well to any changes in routine, unexpected events and they tend to dictate the atmosphere of the home where parents commonly describe ‘walking on eggshells’ around them so as to not trigger another ‘episode’.