Sex advice: ’I don’t want to dominate my boyfriend’

I want my boyfriend to take charge in the bedroom.

However, even though he’s confident and a natural leader in day-to-day life, that’s the one place where he wants me to dominate him, which I feel uncomfortable with. It means that I don’t really enjoy sex with him.

For an otherwise confident male to be so sexually self-limiting is unusual. Your boyfriend’s behaviour could be caused by tiredness or laziness, but it could equally indicate a lack of confidence. Some men, for example, find it easier to achieve orgasm when a woman goes on top. If they restrict themselves to that position, over time they condition themselves to believe it is the only way they will be able to ejaculate. If your boyfriend is insecure about his ability to orgasm in any other way, you could suggest experimenting with oral sex, or other positions that are more satisfying for you, and then using “on top” as a fail-safe method to help him climax, if necessary.