Thursday’s TV tips

Check out our guide to what to watch on TV tonight.

Thursday’s TV tips

CONTEST: The Great British Sewing Bee (BBC2, 8pm)

As the series progresses and more contestants are eliminated, it’s becoming harder and harder to spot any weak links – or to decide who’s ahead of the pack. Each week we have our own ideas about who has the title, ahem, sewn up – but then the following episode changes everything.

This week’s challenges should weed out the sharpest needles, though, as the remaining amateur sewers are tested on their ability to add shape and structure to garments.

They begin by creating a boned corset by sewing together 12 individual pieces of fabric, before breathing new life into a 1980s ’power’ suit.

Finally, the group are challenged to make a traditional kilt from scratch, which proves one of their toughest tests to date – and one which judges May Martin and Patrick Grant will no doubt love to pick holes in, before they face their own tricky challenge: to decide who goes home.

REALITY: Don’t tell the Bride (RTE Two, 9pm)

Longford lovebirds Jamie Parker and Danielle Reilly like to live life in the fast lane – they met 6 years ago at a car show. But Danielle was made wait for quite a while for the for the proposal!

But the good news is Jamie is in charge of organising the wedding. Together with his best man Mikey they book the parachute jump, arrange the wedding ceremony and do a deal on the reception within the first 24 hours.

If the sky diving bride survives the jump, she might be in for an even bigger shock when she realizes that Jamie has planned to hold their winter ceremony in an exposed airplane hanger followed by a wild west themed wedding in the nearby pub complete with bails of straw, rodeo bulls, and…. cucumbers…..!

Jamie’s other brainwaves include buying a cowboy hat in a fancy dress shop instead of a veil, spray painting his bride’s wedding day footwear in a shed and ordering the wedding dress from a catalogue…

And on the day of the wedding when best man Mikey delivers the goods to bridal HQ – including a bridesmaids dress chosen without the presence of the bridesmaid - all hell breaks loose.

CHAT: Jason Byrne’s Snaptastic Show (TV3, 9pm)

Johnny Vegas, Eleanor Tiernan And Russell Kane

In this brand new TV3 series, each week comedian Jason Byrne will be interviewing celebrities about their lives and trawling through their photo albums to get a real insight into their past and what they are all about.

Jason will also be sharing some of his own childhood photos, as well as having a look at audience members' embarrassing photo collections.

Joining Jason tonight on the show is actor and comedian Johnny Vegas, UK Comedian Russell Kane and Irish comedian Eleanor Tiernan.

With stand-up comedy plus live sketches performed by Foil Arms and Hog.

DOCUMENTARY: Reinventing the Royals (BBC2, 9pm)

Living your entire life in the spotlight can’t be easy – everything you do, no matter what, is under scrutiny with millions of people following your every move.

While it could be argued that A-list stars (or, more likely Z-list celebrities) court the Press from time to time, the same can’t be said of the royal family; they haven’t asked to be in the news, they were simply born into it.

In the concluding part of the documentary examining the efforts to boost the house of Windsor’s popularity, Steve Hewlett examines how such media intrusion has impacted on Princes William and Harry.

There are also reports on Prince Charles’ eventual succession and on the relationship between the royals and the BBC, which was threatened by a programme trailer that hinted that the Queen had walked out of a session with esteemed photographer Annie Leibovitz.

DOCUMENTARY: Britain’s Biggest Primary School (Channel 5, 9pm)

For some, school days were the best of their lives, while for others, they were a nightmare they would rather forget.

Memories – good or bad – may have been rekindled by this series, which offers an insight into daily life at Gascoigne Primary School in Barking, east London, which has 1,100 pupils, 39 teachers and more than 160 other staff members who all help keep the multi-cultural establishment ticking over.

This week we meet seven-year-old Alaniss, who is returning to the school after a year away receiving treatment in a special unit for her challenging behaviour. She now has education support worker Leon Smith on hand to help her settle battle in.

Elsewhere, eight-year-olds Makaya, Scarlett and Khairat appear to spend most of their days bickering, while Elsie, 10, seems to have lovesick Kierran exactly where she wants him – at her beck and call.

DRAMA: Cucumber (Channel 4, 9pm)

Some 16 years after the hit Manchester-set series Queer as Folk appeared on our screens, Russell T Davies has done it again with this spiritual successor: Cucumber, which explores the highs and lows of 21st-century gay life, has made almost as big an impact as its progenitor – and has certainly rivalled it in terms of reviews.

Tonight sees Henry making a last-ditch attempt to win back Lance. However, with his ex captivated by his new man and the Canal Street culture, it could be too late for their relationship. Will Lance’s mind be changed if he finally finds out the truth about Daniel?

One thing’s for certain: nothing’s going to be the same again as the series heads toward its penultimate edition next week.

Cyril Nri, Vincent Franklin and James Murray are among the excellent cast giving Davies’ work the quality treatment it deserves.

DRAMA: The Good Wife (More4, 9pm)

Next year, we should be seeing an awful lot more of Kyle MacLachlan.

It was recently announced that he would definitely be returning as FBI agent Dale Cooper when David Lynch and Mark Frost breathe new life into their surreal drama Twin Peaks after a 25-year break. And thank goodness for that – where would the show be without straight-arrow Coop?

Not that MacLachlan has ever really been off our screens. He may still mostly be associated with Lynch’s work, but he’s also popped up with recurring roles in Desperate Housewives, How I Met Your Mother and, more recently, Agents of SHIELD.

He also has a guest part in the latest edition of the legal drama, playing lawyer Josh Perotti; he will reprise the role in season six.

Here, the firm’s files are hacked into by a blackmailer, while Alicia and Dean confront some familiar faces while defending a woman in a sex discrimination case.

FILM: Amour (Film4, 9pm)

(2012) Retired music teachers Georges and Anne are in their eighties and enjoying life – until Anne is struck down by a devastating stroke.

With both her mental and physical health in decline, she begs Georges to care for her at the home they have shared for years, and he agrees. But the stress of the situation begins to take its toll and their efforts to retain their dignity are hit hard.

What’s more, Georges will be faced by a difficult decision with far-reaching consequences for them both.

Although not easy viewing, it’s impossible not to be moved by this extraordinary film from Michael Haneke, the writer-director whose movies are never less than challenging – if you’ve seen Hidden and Funny Games, you’ll know what we mean.

At the centre of the production are two amazing performances by Jean-Louis Trintignant and the Oscar-nominated Emmanuelle Riva.

Starring: Jean-Louis Trintignant, Emmanuelle Riva, Isabelle Huppert

FILM: The Bank Job (More4, 10pm)

(2008) London car dealer Terry Leather is married with children and is finding it tough to make ends meet.

He’s also got a reputation for being a wide boy, an artful dodger who isn’t against bending the law to make a deal, so he’s open to ex-model Martine’s plan to break into a bank.

She’s heard that its alarm is going to be switched off for a fortnight, giving their team ample time to tunnel into the vault. Terry thinks they’ll be stealing money, little realising Martine wants to get her hands on the compromising photo of a royal she needs to help her escape a jail sentence.

It’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but on the whole, this is a thoroughly entertaining venture thanks in no small part to some classy dialogue from those likely lads themselves, Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

Starring: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, Stephen Campbell Moore, Daniel Mays, James Faulkner

FILM: Doom (ITV4, 1.05am)

(2005) A remote scientific research station on Mars is in serious trouble.

There’s been a communication breakdown between the site and Earth, and no actual research appears to be going on. Occasionally messages back home do get through, but they only make those that hear them more worried than ever before.

The only people with the skill and authority to find out what’s going on is the crack Rapid Response Tactical Squad – a hardened team of marines armed with every hi-tech weapon known to man.

That should be enough to sort out whatever has happened, shouldn’t it?

This big-screen take on a popular video game was never going to bother the Oscar voters, but it’s worth a look for those who are into spectacular sci-fi actioners. The cast is pretty good too.

Starring: Karl Urban, Dwayne Johnson, Rosamund Pike, Dexter Fletcher, Ben Daniels

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