So far, so unpromising. According to the 28-year-old Londoner’s Tumblr, No Bad Dates, Just Good Stories, Lauren suggested a pub but her date requested coffee instead since he wasn’t drinking.
Lauren says she then mentioned a “lovely independent coffee place over the road”. He wasn’t keen, since that involved the effort of actually crossing said road. You can see how this date was now veering towards bizarre.
Thankfully, it was shortlived.
Less than half an hour in, Lauren’s date offered to cook her dinner at his. The reasoning for this keen-seeming suggestion? He had a shopping delivery coming in.
Lauren politely made her excuses and the pair parted ways. She understandably expected to never hear from him again, but lo and behold:
Which is when the post-date chat unexpectedly topped the bizarreness of the real thing. The guy actually asked to be reimbursed for the coffee he had bought Lauren at the Costa.
She offered to donate the money to a charity of his choice instead, to let him “regain some humanity”, but was clearly a bit depressed that dating had come to this.
“I don’t come with a money back guarantee. Dates aren’t commodities,” she later wrote on her blog. We couldn’t agree more, Lauren, a stinging critique of digital dating if ever we heard one.
Better luck next time, Lauren. Although her “no bad dates, just good stories” ethos has really paid off. This particular story has been spread across the internet and even made the national press.
And there is one other huge consolation: her Tumblr piece coined the phrase “Ocado and Chill”.