This guy asked his date to pay him back for a coffee after she turned him down

There’s good dates, there’s bad dates and then there’s straight-up bizarre dates. Lauren Crouch’s most recent foray into romance definitely fell in to the latter category.

In the hopes if getting over the guy who I'm pretty sure I've fallen for (who's left for USA) I arranged a date. He's taken me to Costa 👎

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015

So far, so unpromising. According to the 28-year-old Londoner’s Tumblr, No Bad Dates, Just Good Stories, Lauren suggested a pub but her date requested coffee instead since he wasn’t drinking.

Lauren says she then mentioned a “lovely independent coffee place over the road”. He wasn’t keen, since that involved the effort of actually crossing said road. You can see how this date was now veering towards bizarre.

Thankfully, it was shortlived.

The dates already over. 30 mins. Gotta be a record. He invited me for dinner because he was due an Ocado delivery. So odd.

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015

Less than half an hour in, Lauren’s date offered to cook her dinner at his. The reasoning for this keen-seeming suggestion? He had a shopping delivery coming in.

Lauren politely made her excuses and the pair parted ways. She understandably expected to never hear from him again, but lo and behold:

Hate having to send these messages and always worry I'll sound mean/like a twat #dating #singlelife #datingadvice pic.twitter.com/wtlNCIX6Ep

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015

Which is when the post-date chat unexpectedly topped the bizarreness of the real thing. The guy actually asked to be reimbursed for the coffee he had bought Lauren at the Costa.

I might offer to donate £3 for the coffee to a charity of his choice as a chance for him to regain some humanity pic.twitter.com/0sWC28O4m2

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 11, 2015

She offered to donate the money to a charity of his choice instead, to let him “regain some humanity”, but was clearly a bit depressed that dating had come to this.

“I don’t come with a money back guarantee. Dates aren’t commodities,” she later wrote on her blog. We couldn’t agree more, Lauren, a stinging critique of digital dating if ever we heard one.

@SadiaOfficial @MyPlaceOrYours_ @joshbythesea @probablygeorge @AhhGeeProd @LaceyWaters @MetroUK @AVagabond_ did it pic.twitter.com/L2O94IfO9x

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 12, 2015

@SadiaOfficial @MyPlaceOrYours_ @joshbythesea @probablygeorge @AhhGeeProd @LaceyWaters @MetroUK @AVagabond_ Oh GOD pic.twitter.com/u3RkcDxfb3

— London Marmite (@LaurenNotLozza) November 12, 2015

Better luck next time, Lauren. Although her “no bad dates, just good stories” ethos has really paid off. This particular story has been spread across the internet and even made the national press.

@Crouchi 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Q2jOPGI3Hg

— Guy Found Lobster (@guy_dating) November 12, 2015

And there is one other huge consolation: her Tumblr piece coined the phrase “Ocado and Chill”.

H/T: BreakingNews.ie