'Phil L' was enjoying a coffee outside the Verano Lounge in Brighton when he started receiving some unwanted attention from "an ungodly looking man".
He wrote about the encounter on TripAdvisor, but pointed out that while it "is not a reflection of the place (which is truly excellent by the way), I feel it is something the wider community should know about".
"A month ago I was sitting outside The Verano Lounge and an ungodly looking man appeared from a nearby doorway and started to wave a hot dog (no bun) in my face," Phil says.
"All the time he was shouting, 'You like the meat, don't you? You like the meat.' I tried to ignore him, but he kept doing it."
Suddenly, he was saved by "a nice man".
"Just then a black Range Rover pulled up and out got Ashley Cole.
"He could see the hassle I was getting, so he rushed over to the ungodly man and told him in no uncertain terms to take his dirty hot dog out of my face. The man (now scared) duly did.
"I thanked Mr Cole for his help but he just said, 'Don't worry about it, I hate that sort of thing.' He then got in his Range Rover, gave me a wave and drove off. What a nice man."
What an experience.
Phil signed off on the amazing tale by saying: "The coffee in the Verano Lounge is superb."
Alas, the most amazing review ever didn't actually happen. Phil tweeted that he made it up.
Still, we live in hope that Ashley Cole may one day defend an ordinary man from a hot dog-wielding villain.