Ghosting, diversity, bill-splitting... five takeaways from First Dates, Season 9
Oriel and Gary on First Dates Ireland.
Time and time again over the course of this show, we have seen potential couples fall foul of the bill-splitting. As Irish people with a generational trauma around letting people do nice things for us, allowing somebody to pay for a meal brings most of us out in a rash. Often the wounds of bill-paying are assauged by a simple: “sure you can get the next one,” and with that harmony is restored and the credit card is put away, despite all of us knowing that second date will most likely never materialise.
That being said, without naming names, if you have zero intention of seeing this person again, at least go splitsies to spare the guaranteed blushes to come. When it comes to paying for stuff, chivalry is most definitely an art worth maintaining.
Every single participant who appeared on this show has opened themselves up in a way that is nothing short of admirable, none more so than Alex in episode 9 who admits that he hasn’t as of yet come out to his Latvian family.
When we learn that he has done so since the show was recorded, and that he and his date Cillian have remained friends, it is a reminder that in order to win big, you have to make yourself vulnerable, and another reminder how important this show is for LGBTQ+ people and representation.
“Are you an alcoholic yourself?” was a classic ice-breaker from Gary back in February when getting to know addiction counsellor Oriel. Thankfully, she took it well, but other subjects we learned should be kept strictly off-limits would be the mention of serial killers, bowel movements, and even Tinder itself.
Yes, when Gary’s brother Anthony says anyone who is on Tinder is “desperate”, we fall through the floor with him when his Australian date Angie announces she herself is, surprise surprise, on Tinder. Perhaps best to leave the sweeping generalisations until at least the second date.
We were all rooting for Toni and Biff, each single-parents with the latter jokingly reassuring his glamorous date that he is working towards getting squatter’s rights in his mam’s gaff, and who doesn’t love a guy with goals. Despite seemingly being perfect on paper, we all nearly dropped our flake when we heard Toni hasn’t responded to Biff’s calls and texts since the show.
In the year of our lord 2024, Toni owes neither Biff nor us anything at all, really, but as conflict-avoidant as we all are, it’s always good to send that awkward text rather than instigate radio silence. Yes, you will probably have to bury your phone in the back garden for a few days with the cringe of it all, but if we’ve learned anything from this season, it is that honesty is most certainly the best policy.
This season saw the return of Shez and Carla, a First Dates couple who have, since the show, seen the birth of their little girl, and who offer their profuse gratitude to the universe that they signed up for this much-adored dating show back in 2020, without which they admit they probably never would have found one another.
Such a success story is not isolated - we have had participants jiving their way to afternoon tea (Tom and Amy) and a fitness-loving pair moving from Instagram to reality (Long and Amanda), with many other beautiful pairings along the way. It is a reminder as to why all of us put ourselves out there when it comes to love and dating - because though it involves great emotional courage, one day we might just strike it lucky.
