Ireland’s Fittest Family final: Davy does it as Louth clan rise to the top
The Nugent family with coach Davy Fitzgerald, on Ireland's Fittest Family on RTÉ One.
Sixteen families, seven weeks, a lake, a forest, and a swamp — and a lot of mud, sweat and tears.
Yes, it’s been a long road to the final for our remaining four families, and tonight, in a 90-minute finale episode, it all comes down to seconds, as one grabs the coveted title of Ireland’s Fittest Family and a €15,000 cash prize.
Our finalists tonight are Davy Fitzgerald's Nugents from Louth, Donnacha O'Callaghan's Finnegans from Cork, and Anna Geary's two teams, the Gallagher from Donegal and the Fitzsimons from Wicklow.
New coach Nina Carbery was absent from tonight’s final, having failed to bring any of her families all the way. But, if tonight’s final was any inspiration, it did seem to suggest practice makes perfect...
The final kicked off tonight with Davy giving Donncha a rather vigorous shoulder massage, as the Cork man proclaimed “ABG” — which stands for “Anyone but Geary".
“Jealousy is a colour that doesn’t suit you,” she popped back.
Speaking of colours, the next image on our screen is sixteen individuals running up a hill with barrels atop their heads in varying shades of pink, blue, gold and – ehm, a paler blue?
Soon, the barrels are being pulled and dragged as the families get increasingly exhausted on a hill that’s so steep we’re out of breath just watching.
“Carrying the barrel seems to be the way to go,” commentator Darragh Maloney remarks, before following it up with a short laugh. “That’s easy for me to say...”
The Fitzsimons family from Wicklow end up on top, with the Nugents from Louth hot on their heels. The Finnegans from Cork come in third, while a wrecked Gallagher team from Donegal come in fourth.
Next up, we have old-favourite Back Against The Wall.
The Gallaghers start us off, with something to prove after the first challenge. Molly, 23, is the first to get weak in the knees, just missing the 4 minute mark in the challenge, with 19-year-old James down next after 4 mins and 26 seconds in the high-squat position.
At this stage, we’re treated to zoom-ins of mother Lisa’s wobbly knees as she tries desperately to beat her son Connor, 17, after he made a smart comment about her getting “tired in her old age”. We’re all delighted when he goes down at 5 minutes 25 seconds, and 50-year-old Lisa holds out until 6 mins and 4 seconds.
“It’s nice to get one up on them,” she tells presenter Mairead Ronan delightedly.
Next up, it’s the Cork crew, all of whom make it beyond 4 minutes. The facial expressions from that point on are something we know will live on as memes in their circles for a long, long time.
In the end, 19-year-old Aaron from the Army is first to go at 5 mins 5 seconds, with Sarah, 15, gone at 5 mins 32 seconds. At this stage, dad John starts singing The Dance by Garth Brooks... we think.. we can’t quite make it out through the pain. But, Garth keeps him going until he starts quivering so hard it looks like he’s about to take out the challenge’s frame with him.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” commetator Darragh Maloney gasps, “I don’t know how he’s stayed up there.”
His daughter Lauren has checked out at an astounding 12 minutes 7 seconds, but the Cork dad is STILL GOING.
Finally, he collapses, at 13 mins 28 seconds. Whew.
The Nugents from Co Louth go next, with Davy Fitzgerald pointing and yelling at his family “ten more seconds!” like... every ten seconds.
It works though. Finn, 15, hangs on for 7 minutes 54 seconds, with mammy Mags, 43, holding on for 11 mins 20 seconds.
Carrying on from John’s show of strength, the Nugent’s dad Donal, 46, holds on for an amazing 15 minutes and 6 seconds, with 17-year-old Danny blowing everyone out of the water with 19 minutes and 2 seconds.
Well, that was until The Fitzsimons from Co Wicklow arrived. Yep, at this point, we’re just staring gobsmacked at our screens as mum Janice, 46, pulls a time of 19 minutes 11 seconds, dad Brian, 45, a time of 23 minutes and 14 seconds, and 16-year-old Kai and 14-year-old Aaron, holding on for just over 32 minutes each.
We really need to work on our squats.
After a quick eliminator between Donnacha O'Callaghan's Finnegans from Cork, and Anna Geary's Gallaghers from Donegal, the Cork crew come out on top with Dad John promising “we're not going to go down easy, as a man says, we’re going to come out of the corner swinging”.
As if the challenges weren’t hard enough, at this point in the competition, the heavens open, with the Wall of Pain coming with a storm warning for 2022.
And to add to the pressure, the team who come in last place will be automatically kicked out of the competition. As it turns out, that team is our Finnegans from Cork as they post a score of 3 minutes 2 seconds, behind the Fitzsimmons and Nuggets who tie on 2 minutes 43 seconds.
But despite losing out so close to the end, they’re all smiles, with big bro Aaron saying the competition has brought him “closer to the girls” (aww) and dad John saying he “couldn’t be prouder” of his kids.
And, here we are. At the final challenge of 2022.
It’s all steam ahead for our final obstacle course, complete with Davy and Anna’s increasingly demented screams.
As the Fitzsimons from Wicklow race up the mountain, through ropes, ramps, nets, and bales of hay, the Nugents are hot on their heels. And, then it gets to one of those deadly walls to be scaled, and 16-year-old Kai from the Fitzsimons just can’t get to the top of it, allowing the Nugents to race ahead. Finally, he does... and they catch up. But then, there’s another wall.
And it all ends here, on a wall-come-ramp piece of horror that has our families throwing themselves up... and sliding down... over and over again.
Eventually, both teams have three members each over the wall, so it comes down to the mammy’s Jan Fitzsimons and Mags Nugent. And, finally, with just seconds between them, Mags gets over the wall first.
It’s a gutting end for the Fitzsimons, but they put on a brave face, with our youngest competitor Aaron remarking "I am just happy we got the chance to do it.” For the Nugents, it’s all about doing it for their county.
“To be the first family from Louth to win is just something amazing,” dad Donal beams.
“The wee county is not wee now!”
