Culture That Made Me: Reggie from Blackrock Road reveals his formative influences
Reggie from Blackrock, while being interviewed by Pat Fitzpatrick.
Reggie, Blackrock Road is the richest man in the world. He lives in a €5.2 million on the Blackrock Road, and is lifetime President of the Captains Of Cork Industry (COCI), an elite business organisation set up by himself and his friend Bunty Harrington because “they’d let anyone into the Cork Chamber of Commerce". COCI has been looking down on the people of Cork since 2007 (that’s actually on their logo) and their main role is setting standards on Leeside while paying zero tax and cheating on their wives.
A surprise hit on social media to everyone bar himself, Reggie is bringing his one-man show An Evening with Reggie to the Everyman in Cork, running from April 2 to 16. See https://everymancork.ticketsolve.com/shows/873623295
I love watching Room to Improve with my son Hugo. It’s a reminder that things could have been so different for both of us and we could have ended up living in semi-detached house in Ballinlough, dreaming that some gowl of an architect would come down from Dublin and tell us we should put a small glass house at the back of our gaff. I must say though, it’s no joke watching people celebrating with (cheap) prosecco after putting in a kitchen that cost 25 grand. It makes me sad. How do people live like that?
I’m a huge fan of his work, based on the amount of money I spend buying it at art auctions around the world. I invite high-net worth individuals into my house now and again, so they can admire my art collection. I was giving my good friend Milky Pilkington the tour last week when he stopped in front of one piece and asked me what it meant. I said, it means that have more money than you Milky – next question. Sorry now, but what’s the point in having an art collection if you’re not going to use it to shove your wealth down other people’s throats, in a really sound way?
I like all the Batman stuff really. I can see a lot of myself in the main character – a good-looking member of the 1% with a heart of gold, although I tend not to wear the cape and mask unless I’m at a sex party in Kinsale. (As if there’s any other kind of party in Kinsale.)
One of my favourite ways to unwind is to hate-watch Sesame Street with a glass of Midleton Very Rare (you couldn’t afford it). I live for the bit where they sing that the postman is a person in your neighbourhood, and I’m there shouting, "Well, he might be a person in your neighbourhood, but you won’t find many postmen with a place on the Blackrock Road." Although I wouldn’t be surprised if there are one or two of them down in the village – Blackrock has always been a bit dodge. I’m worn out telling people that the people who live on a road heading towards a place are not the same as the people living in that place. Otherwise Dublin Hill would be full of langers.
What a documentary! I had no idea that people on the north side had such fun lives. It just goes to show that you shouldn’t judge people from a distance, although that won’t stop me from trying.
I was walking past Live at the Marquee one evening during a Rod Stewart concert, when I heard all the people inside belting out the chorus of this song, 'I am sailing, I am sailing'. I ran up to security guys and said, "There is no way all the people in there own a yacht. Half of them are from Bishopstown and Wilton, the closest they ever got to sailing is paddling a budget kayak around Roaring Water Bay." The security guys looked at me as if I'd Iost my noodle. It makes me sad to hear deluded people pretending they have a yacht – if it was up to me, they wouldn’t be allowed to sing this song in public.
I see myself as the anti-Jimmy Carr. You’ll never catch me telling a racist joke. You won’t catch me trying to fiddle my tax either, because my accountant Scobie Comerford is a dinger at covering things up. So my advice to the Revenue is to stop wasting taxpayers' money by following me around the Cayman Islands, and go and catch some real criminals. By the way, in Jimmy Carr’s defence, his parents are from Limerick. He never stood a chance.
I’m too over-sexed to enjoy a book. I rarely get past page three without thinking, I could be off somewhere now, chatting up a very open-minded woman from Heidelberg. But I really got caught up in Sally Rooney’s book – I thought it was a comedy at first, because she seemed to be saying there are posh people in Sligo. I don’t want to come across as the classic Cork snob, but a posh person in Connaught is someone with a second pair of socks. My friend Bunty Harrington asked me to sum up the book in one sentence and I said, it’s mainly miserable people living in Dublin. He said, why are they so miserable? I said, because they’re living in Dublin.
I wear an adult nappy watching this because it’s hilaire what passes for a classy house in this country and I’d be laughing so hard, there is no way I’d make it to the jacks. I don’t want to boast about the elegance of my €5.2 million property on the really posh bit of the Blackrock Road, but it’s worth pointing out that my gardener went to Christians. (He couldn’t get into Pres.)
I let out a little tear when Hoggy sings this, he’s got a travesty of a voice, to be honest with you, but there is no telling him because he has a giant ego. (Hardly surprising – he lives on the Blackrock Road.) The great thing about ‘de Banks’ for me is that it recognises the greatest river in the world, which has done such a good job down the years, separating our southside elite from wannabes in Lovers Walk and Montenotte.
It’s ridiculous to expect someone to only love one woman at a time, as I keep telling my wife Marjorie when we go to our (incredibly expensive) relationship counselling sessions. Look, I can afford them, but they still feel like a total waste of money, not least because the counsellor is forever coming down on Marjorie’s side. With the warmer weather coming in you can expect to find me singing this Julio Iglesias classic in our outdoor infinity pool at the back of my €5.2 million mansion on the Blackrock Road. The good news is I have a beautiful singing voice, the bad news is you won’t be able to hear me from the road. #HugeProperty
