Sex File: I said my ex-boyfriend’s name in bed

Calling out your ex’s name during sex is an awkward but common and forgivable offence

I accidentally called my husband by an old boyfriend’s name during sex and now I’m anxious I’ll do it again. I’ve been happily married for five years and genuinely never think about this man any more. My husband didn’t comment on it at the timeb — I’m not sure if he let it pass or didn’t hear — but it has left me feeling tense about our sex life.

Getting your partner’s name wrong is awkward at any time, but in a sexual context, it feels particularly transgressive. However, it is certainly not uncommon. Sexual arousal affects the regions of the brain that are responsible for attention, information retrieval, and working memory, so misnaming is more likely to happen when your genitals are doing the thinking.