Life Hacks: Anna Geary on the pressure to look flawless

Striving to be perfect can be harmful and even lead to obsession, says lifestyle coach Anna Geary.

THERE is no definition that can fully capture what beauty is. However, today when we think of the word ‘beauty’, we can’t help but think of the term ‘flawless’.

By definition, the term flawless relates, ‘to the state or quality of being perfect; the process of improving something until it is faultless’.

Thanks to social media there is an ever-increasing pressure to be seen without blemish, as perfection is the ultimate dream for so many. In reality, perfect is never perfect and striving for perfection can turn from admirable to harmful and even obsessive. The spread of photoshopping and filters pushes the ‘flawless’ look on people and urges us to seek something that simply doesn’t exist. But what are the long-term consequences of this on our wellbeing?

According to Anna-Marie Solowij, former Vogue beauty director, in the last 40 years, “culture has stepped beyond setting an ideal image of beauty for women to aspire to, now it sets an impossible image”.

I recently was involved in the Healthy Ireland initiative called ‘Teen Talk’. We spoke to hundreds of Cork students about the areas of health and wellbeing. The topics centred around why it’s so important to strive to be the best version of yourself, rather than trying to be anyone else. The event really opened my eyes to the pressures they face to constantly conform.

In 2017, a special Irish Examiner and ReachOut Ireland teen mental health survey was designed to capture the views of teenagers in relation to youth mental health and the issues that affect them. The results showed that three out of four teenagers worry about body shape.

Commenting on the survey, Bodywhys said that teenagers live in a world where 10m images are added every hour to Facebook and the average phone is unlocked 100 times a day; showing body image is inextricably linked to how they compare to others online.

The results highlighted that the idea of ‘who hasn’t liked their posts’ preys on their mind a lot. They spend so much time thinking about this and about how to get more likes that they spend nowhere near enough time thinking about what they actually like or developing any sense of self, which is one of the things that helps build self-esteem.

When I was growing up in the 1990s, we thought our teenage years were tough enough when it came to navigating through beauty standards, but at least there was some wiggle room to express ourselves, whether by embracing the ‘grunge’ or ‘pop’ look, or whatever took our fancy. But a quick glance at the crowds circulating Topshop, River Island, and the likes at the weekends now suggests that is no longer the case. With their skin tanned to a perfect shade of mahogany, expensively highlighted hair, and manicured nails, today’s teenage girls are a world away from the dishevelled youngsters of the ’90s (no offence). But, while they look effortlessly groomed, I don’t envy them — it must be exhausting. I thought it was time-consuming having to straighten the ends of my hair with an (actual) iron, paint my nails, and put on some mascara, lip gloss, and blusher.

In Britain, according to a 2016 Girlguides survey, more than a third of 10-year-olds said people make them think the most important thing about them is how they look. A quarter of girls aged 10 feel they ‘need to be perfect’. The Girls’ Attitudes Survey revealed a steep five-year decline in girls’ body confidence, with 61% aged seven to 21 feeling happy with how they look today, down from 73% in 2011.

This type of research shows that young people are under more pressure to conform than ever before. This decline in body confidence has a direct correlation with the timing of the rise of social media. It may seem trivial to some, but it can be extremely stressful for them to ‘fit in’ during these vulnerable years.

And it’s not just teenagers that suffer from it. Many adults feel pressure to constantly buy new outfits, once it’s been ‘seen’ on social media. The truth is this pressure is propelling an entire industry towards ‘fast fashion’. We live in a society where we are constantly bombarded with new trends in fashion and beauty. Many of us have stood in front of a mirror and felt less than fabulous. Cue the adage, “I’ve nothing to wear”.

A recent study of mothers and daughters, published in the British Journal of Youth and Adolescence showed the relationship of a mother with herself producing high self-esteem, directly relates to a daughter experiencing higher self-appreciation. Teenagers are very impressionable, so if they hear or see their parents or those in a position of influence harbouring distorted views about how their bodies and faces should look, is it any wonder they adopt the same approach?

Essena O’Neill, an Australian model, made headlines when quitting social media in 2015. At the time she made thousands of dollars sharing posts with her more than 600,000 followers on her site. She admitted that often she’d take over 100 photos until she got the perfect one to post online. She also admitted: “My stomach was sucked in and I would strategically pose... it was contrived perfection.”

Now this isn’t always the case and there are many legitimate social media accounts that offer advice to help you to feel better in your own skin using fashion, fitness, beauty and lifestyle tips. But just be careful who you follow, if they don’t add anything positive to your day, click the unfollow button. Trust me, it’s liberating.

It’s fast becoming a habit to spend hours scrolling through social media watching other people’s lives, rather than actually living our own. Many of us need to re-evaluate our priorities and invest that time into self-acceptance in our own respective lives instead. We dish out advice to young people every day about loving and accepting who they are, now we need to practice what we preach as adults.

As Oscar Wilde famously said: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”