Lindsay Woods: The last thing I need is to be told that an item of clothing is going to transform me into some sort of maniac disco queen and that I will instantly achieve happiness akin to utter nirvana

IT’S October. That can only mean… ghouls, goblins and witches, yes? Nay, dear reader… It means Christmas!

The festive onslaught commences earlier each year. Full disclosure: I revel in all the glitter-coated antics of the season. However, I understand the annoyance and pressured connotations of seeing your supermarket rack out shelves of selection boxes in August.