Vivienne Connolly: Look after yourself when life throws you a curveball
From divorce to post-natal depression, Vivienne Connolly opens up to
Vivienne Connolly had the idea for Evolve with Viv – a lifestyle, beauty and fashion event – in 2013, but for a variety of life-changing reasons, including the breakdown of her marriage, it naturally had to take a back seat.
Connolly lost the momentum needed to push through with it.
She explains: “I left it then for a few years, the kids were smaller, and I was going through my own stuff between separation and divorce. I think timing had to do with everything, to be honest with you, but I never left it alone. I was trying to prepare myself, I suppose, for when the kids were going to fly the nest. Ben is 14 now and Katie’s 11 so they need me less in terms of me being in the house, and I was aware that I wanted something new.”
Following encouragement from Celia Holman Lee to go it alone with the business idea, Connolly decided last October to pick it up again. As a result, ‘Evolve with Viv’, makes its debut in Cork tomorrow. “We wanted it to say what it’s exactly about – it’s about evolving and growing. On the day, I want it to be fun, but also informative and encouraging.”
Connolly is very open about her own experiences – as well as being a single mum, she has also suffered post-natal depression. She is cognisant of the importance of taking time out for yourself, and so wants the ‘Evolve with Viv’ event to be about celebrating attendees’ life experiences to date, as well as being a chance for them to press pause on their busy lives for the day and just have some fun in a supportive setting.
Connolly says: “Everyone will have gone through something, so I just think it’s important for everybody to understand that there’s support and encouragement there. Self-care is important. I think we over-complicate things as we get older and the day is about taking time out and relaxing. Women in their 40s are a lot more supportive of each other, they’re not in competition with each other, so I think it’s nice to have a day where we can talk about it and be there for each other and just realise that you’re actually not on your own. It’s nice to be celebrated, it’s nice to be appreciated, and my message really would be: you’re not invisible, you’re invaluable – that is the message through the whole thing.”
The media and fashion in general have been accused in times past of being guilty of poor representation of older women – some would argue this remains the case. Has this been Connolly’s experience in her own work as a model and actor in her forties?
She says no, thankfully, and cites her own acting work with Fair City – as the scheming Ingrid Gleeson – as proof positive that the doors aren’t necessarily closed to career changes as you get older: “The opportunities do definitely get a little bit slimmer, but when I started Fair City I was 39. I think it’s a very personal experience, and it’s how you take it yourself and if you’re courageous enough to go for it.”
Connolly also says that women over-40 are a demographic to be reckoned with, which has most definitely influenced the media’s approach to representation of the older female in the pages of our magazines and on TV: “I think it’s really positive at the minute, the media are very interested and very supportive of women of a different age now. Older women have disposable incomes, they’re interested in fashion, people are living longer, and they’re interested in keeping themselves youthful for as long as they can.”
The importance of self-care comes across as a core message of the ‘Evolve with Viv’ event, and again is based on Connolly’s own experiences of needing to look after yourself when life throws you a curveball.
She says: “We all become overwhelmed at some point, and we’d be liars if we said we didn’t. I think sometimes you have to go right down to come back up again, and then you take stock. For me, exercise is hugely important. Not everybody can get to the gym every day – and not everybody wants to – so I think the important thing is to keep moving.
“Keep your body moving on some level – it’s not the amount you do, it’s the consistency that’s important. There’s no magic pill. The only thing you can do is get out in the fresh air, keep moving and talking to people. Surround yourself with good people, even though I know as well when you’re in a bad place, you don’t want to see anybody, but that’s the very time you should pick up the phone and talk to somebody.”
Connolly’s own line of work as a model has always taught her the importance of upskilling, to allow for a Plan B if or when the work isn’t available. She thinks that as you get older, especially as your children begin to fly the nest, that you need to step outside your comfort zone and try something new.
Her advice is to: “Keep yourself interested – it’s so important, because you can get bored again and lose sight of what you want. Just go out and do a course. You might go ‘well I don’t know what I want to do’ but just do something because that will lead on to something else, and you’ll find out eventually what’s for you.”
Despite the fluid nature of her own work over the years, Connolly admits that getting used to change was a hard, but necessary, lesson for her, especially following her separation and divorce. She says: “Sometimes people get overwhelmed, but you’ve just got to keep going – the whole thing is to take one day at a time. Don’t think about next year, just think about this part, this day and then the next day. One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is to embrace change. I used to hate change. I loved things the way they were. If you learn to embrace change and learn to go with that, you learn how to grow and reinvent yourself and move on with the next phase.”
The show in Cork is the first of what Connolly hopes will be a series of one-day events around the country next year. Her focus for now though is on making the Cork event a success.
For anyone attending, the key message Connolly wants them to take away is that the event is time they are investing in themselves and is a chance to recharge and reclaim some ‘me time’.
She says: “I want those women to walk out of the place and feel empowered and encouraged and supported. That’s really what I would like them to take away.”
Included in the event schedule will be beauty, fashion and hair masterclasses, as well as a fashion show, pop-up shops and a Q&A session at the end with a panel of professionals.
The event takes place tomorrow at the Clayton Hotel Cork from 11am-4.30pm). Tickets are available from evolvewithviv.eventbrite.com (cost: €82.44 including booking fee)
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
