Life hacks: Anna Geary on moving beyond our comfort zone

By Anna Geary

“Whether you think you can or you can’t you are probably right”.

Often, we stay within our comfort zones for fear that we can’t do something. The fear of failure is something that grips us in a way that little else can. But what is a comfort zone? In simplest terms, it provides each of us with a state of mental security. You know what you are doing within those parameters.

In more technical terms, the comfort zone “is a behavioural space where your activities and behaviours fit a routine and pattern that minimises stress, risk and failure”.

We all need a safe place, so a comfort zone isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s a natural state that most people gravitate towards.

However, research shows that comfort zones can kill productivity because, without the sense of urgency and unease that comes from having deadlines and expectations, we can be guilty of going ‘through the motions’ and just doing the minimum required. We lose the drive and ambition to do more and learn new things. We also fall into the trap where we feign being ‘busy’ to stay in our comfort zones and avoid change.

We all know how it goes, ‘I’d love to be the guest speaker/ coach/ new manager/ new member, but I can’t because I am too busy’.

We like to stay within our comfort zones because we believe we can control our lives from there. However, life is full of surprises, some good and some not so good. Stepping out of this space regularly means we will have an easier time dealing with new and unexpected changes.

Brené Brown, author of four New York Times bestsellers and a research professor at the University of Houston, says that one of the worst things we can do is to pretend fear and uncertainty don’t exist. By taking risks in a controlled fashion and challenging yourself to do things you normally wouldn’t do, you can experience some of that uncertainty in a controlled, manageable environment.

Learning to live outside your comfort zone when you choose to, can prepare you for those situations that force you out of it whether you like it or not. It’s important to become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. As a result, you will find it easier to push your boundaries in the future. Once you start stepping out of your comfort zone, it gets easier over time.

Brown believes that as you step out of your comfort zone, you’ll become accustomed to that state of optimal stress. “Productive discomfort,” as she calls it, becomes more normal to you, and you’re willing to push your perceived boundaries. Your comfort zone adjusts the more you challenge yourself, so what was difficult and stress-inducing initially becomes easier.

When I talk to people about comfort zones, I ask them what they think my stand-out achievement has been to date? Was it winning my first Club All Ireland title? Was it captaining Cork to All Ireland success in 2014? Was it leaving my secure job and forging a new career? All worthy contenders but, surprisingly, the achievement that stands out in my mind is learning to drive. I developed a complex about driving from a young age. I grew up on a farm but unusually driving tractors or banger cars was never something I wanted to do. I stayed within the comfort zone of public transport (though it wasn’t very comfortable, or convenient — just ask my mam, who was my taxi!) until a new job forced me out of it in my early 20s. The more I sat into the car, the easier it became and the buzz I got from breaking down that barrier was immense.

Everyone’s comfort zone is different, and what may expand your horizons may paralyse someone else. I relish every opportunity for public speaking. It’s one of my favourite aspects of my career. However, it’s not the same for everyone. The Times did a survey ranking society’s most pervasive fears in Britain a few years ago, and a fear of public speaking was found to be a more pressing concern than death. Only the loss of a family member was deemed a more terrifying thought.

I am encouraging you to occasionally move out of your comfort zone, not to reinvent yourself, but to become a better version of yourself. A useful exercise is to think about what you have always wanted to do but are too afraid to try, because of the potential for disappointment or failure.

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. Write identified comforts inside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts but your comforts too.

Now ask yourself this question, ‘who would I be without that fear?’. If you eliminate the fear, which is often irrational and exaggerated in our minds, what could the proposed benefits be of just giving something a go?

Catch yourself the next time you find yourself saying, ‘Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now’. Instead, be honest and replace the excuse with, ‘I am too afraid to do this’. Analyse that fear and then picture what would happen if you were to remove the fear. A lot of the time, by removing the fear nothing else is stopping you, and then you find you are opening your life to new and exciting opportunities.

I challenge you to say ‘yes’ to something that you would normally say ‘no’ to. Go for that new job, try out for that new team, go to that new class, learn a new language. Feel the fear and do it anyway. The possibilities are endless.

TOP TIPS

We hear so much about moving out of our comfort zones, here are my practical tips to get started:

1. Change your thoughts. Everyone struggles with limiting thoughts from time to time, but because thoughts drive feelings and behaviour, it is important to learn to harness those negative thoughts and replace them with more reality-based, positive thoughts. Write down negative thoughts and fears, draw a line through them and actively change the language into a more positive outlook. From ‘I’m just not the active type, so I don’t exercise’ to, ‘I will try out a new activity each week for a month to see what I like and am good at’.

2. Comfort zones can be challenged in many ways, so don’t limit yourself to big, huge changes or experiences. Little steps count too. Maybe meditation will push you out of your comfort zone just as much as sky diving.

3. Examine those ‘what if’ questions that can creep into our minds. Questions like, ‘What if I accept this new job but then I can’t perform when I’m in it?’ These are the kind of fear-based questions that will keep you in your comfort zone. Replace those questions with positive and courageous ‘what if’ questions.

4. Picture yourself successfully achieving that goal outside of your comfort zone. This technique is called ‘visualisation’. The brain can more easily create new neural pathways when we think about future outcomes in detail.

Start by spending five minutes a day, a few times a week thinking about it and create a ‘mental movie’ of your future. Picture what it would look like when you try that thing you have been putting off for years. Set the scene in your mind, for example, if you want to learn a new language, imagine ordering a meal abroad, in the native tongue you are learning. Engage your senses. Picture the sounds, the smells, the tastes and your feelings.

Make it a tangible goal. If you can see it you have a better chance to become it.

What are you waiting for?