Snow Patrol's Gary Lightbody: Eyes open and seeing clearly

Snow Patrol singer Gary Lightbody tells
how winning his battle with booze has been so important to getting the band back on track.Gary Lightbody is at home with his parents for the weekend and feeling like a kid again. Itâs a place of refuge for the Snow Patrol frontman, who has been through the mill in recent years.
He has suffered from depression, vertigo, writerâs block and a dependency on alcohol that he does not call alcoholism, but which resulted in his hand shaking if he felt in need of a drink.
But being at home lets the 42-year-old Northern Irish star feel like a teenager.
âThere is definitely a part of yourself that reverts to the age you were when you left home,â he says, laughing.
âI think thatâs true of a band too, it doesnât matter how long youâve been at it, there always is an element where youâre still kids.â
But it has been quite a journey for Snow Patrol to get where they are today, with numerous changes in name and line-up, as well as endless disappointments.
First founded at the University of Dundee in 1994 under the name Shrug, the band briefly flirted with the name Polarbear and released an EP before Snow Patrol was born.
Their first two albums, Songs For Polarbears in 1998 and When Itâs All Over We Still Have To Clear Up in 2001, failed to make much of a splash.
But in 2003, they released Final Straw on a major label. It blew up and the band became famous.
What came next was even bigger â the smash hit album that was Eyes Open in 2006, with its anthem single âChasing Carsâ.
It topped the charts in Ireland and the UK, as well as hitting the US top 30. Snow Patrol were global stars.
âIt took us so long to have a hit, so I do think that most of the stuff that has happened to us over the last 15 years is like my dream, my fantasy,â says Lightbody.
âItâs very hard to take that completely seriously, so perhaps I tend not to live in the real world as much as most adults would.â
Protective Layer
But Lightbody has also become much more reflective as heâs got older, more aware of his own weaknesses, but also better at protecting himself.
âI was always a very sensitive kid growing up. I wrote poetry from an early age, I wore my heart on my sleeve a little bit, maybe too much.
âIt probably wasnât good for me. But I also found that being open about my frailties, open about my frustrations or pain is actually the best medicine.
âI have suffered from depression my whole life. I actually feel good these days, but Iâm a serious introvert and it was years playing gigs before I could look at the audience before I could look up past my shoes and figure out how to be a frontman.
âThere is a dual life where youâre trying to present the songs as best you can, because you wrote them, so you may as well give it everything youâve got on stage.
âBut then you come back to the hotel and youâre eating Quavers at three oâclock in the morning, watching 30 Rock. Thereâs a dual existence and it can really mess with your head.
âThere is a strange parallel to depression, because you can be the happiest youâve ever felt, come off stage after playing to 20,000 people and feel 20ft tall, and three hours later Iâm sitting in a hotel room, feeling completely devastated, isolated, alone.
âIf youâre not protecting yourself against it, it can happen at any time, and thatâs why talking about it first is the most important thing.â

The bandâs latest album Wildness, released earlier this year, explores some of Lightbodyâs own conflicts.
âThese arenât obscure things that no-one else goes through. These are things that most people go through at some point in their life, be it just a general sense of not feeling right in the world, which happens to everybody at certain times, all the way up to very deep, dark depression.
âIâve run the full spectrum of that, as have many.â
That includes other songwriters and Lightbody lists Kurt Cobain, Jeff Buckley, Chris Cornell and Prince as other artists who âdealt with the very fabric of our humannessâ.
He pauses for a moment. âMost songwriters, for the most part, sit on their own and stare at a blank page.
âSometimes itâs for seconds, sometimes years. So thatâs a very solitary, reflective existence just by itself.â
But today, Lightbody feels better than he thought was possible.
Iâm waking up every day feeling like Iâm ready to go, rather than waking up every day feeling like Iâm ready to quit. Itâs a hell of a change and Iâm very happy to have got to the other side of it.
âI know there are a lot of people that havenât got there. I know where they are. Itâs hard. I think the most important thing is reaching out to people that you can talk to.
âThe first thing I did when I tried to deal with my mental problems was speak to people that I trusted.
âThe band didnât even know. We are all very close. We are aware that sometimes weâre having bad days or whatever. I just donât think they knew the extent of it.â
No More Alcohol
His decision to stop drinking after a health scare two years ago â when he was diagnosed with infections in his ears, eyes and sinuses â also helped him âmassivelyâ, he says.
I was drinking for Ireland â and every day. I would do the decent thing and not drink until five oâclock, but by five oâclock, my hand was shaking.
Does he think heâs an alcoholic? âNo. I have a strange way of looking at things. Itâs perhaps an Irish way of looking at things, which is if you donât drink, youâre not an alcoholic.
âI donât really truck with that whole thing. I totally understand people want to get on that train, if it helps them, thatâs fine â it doesnât help me. It doesnât help me at all, because I feel like there is no point if youâve stopped.
âIâm not going to continually beat myself over the head with something thatâs not in my life anymore. Also, if it does come back into my life at any point, I donât want to feel like Iâve let people down or let myself down.
âIâm saying that today I donât drink, and thatâs enough for me. I donât give myself a label in that respect, but I do respect people who have gone down the AA route. If it works for them, thatâs great.â
The change was profound and Lightbody feels and looks much healthier today.
After a month, I felt so much better for not drinking, waking up without a hangover. The first year was tough, but any time I think about drinking, my brain would put me back to when I had my last hangover.
It helps that Lightbody has no interest in revisiting his youth, or in growing old disgracefully.
âI donât want to be 20 again. I wouldnât want to go backwards. But I wouldnât mind seeing what I could have done with no booze and drugs from the age of 20. I would love to see what shape my body and mind would have been in without that.
âItâs a terrible thing to say, for the band to have so much success, and I donât know how much I enjoyed it.â
Still, he wouldnât do anything differently.
âI would be too afraid to not be right here, right now. This is what I always wanted, I just didnât know it. I wouldnât change anything.â