Sex advice with Suzi Godson: I adore my husband, but don’t fancy him

I have been with my husband for 20 years. I adore him, and still think he is very handsome. We have a great relationship, but I just don’t fancy him any more, or want to have sex with him. Is there a way to change that? I don’t think it’s my libido because I still fancy other people.

The longer you have been in a relationship, the less sex you have, and it has nothing to do with age. The steepest decline occurs in the first 12 months of a relationship, so 60-year-olds who have been together six months are often having more sex than 30-year-olds who have been together for six years. A study carried out in the Eighties, which involved getting newlyweds to keep diaries, found that during the first month of marriage couples were having sex 17 times. Twelve months later that figure had reduced to eight.