Marriage our way: Why alternative weddings are on the rise

Harry and Meghan are not the only couple departing from the wedding rule book. Love is breaking out all over, says

MEGHAN and Harry are the envy of many brides- and grooms-to-be.

Is it because Meghan is a paragon of style and beauty or because her equally photogenic prince will cut a dapper dash at the altar?

Well, yes, there’s that, but the main reason is that in their own way this high-profile pair have torn up the rulebook and are getting hitched their way — especially considering royal weddings usually tend to be the ultimate in conventional dos.

Granted, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are including a slew of centuries-old traditional elements in their nuptials, but they do seem to have struck the perfect balance by ticking requisite boxes while retaining the sense of a celebration that is all about them.

The couple, who announced their engagement in November, are planning their own wedding — and promise it will be one that “reflects the characters of the bride and groom”.

And, let’s face it, that can be a tricky task indeed.

Satisfying desires of family and friends while also reconciling a dream of a casual, intimate occasion with a partner’s preference for something more traditional can lead you on a merry dance down a path strewn with more thorns than wedding-bouquet roses.

But it doesn’t have to be a tug-of-war between your vision of exchanging vows, barefoot in a forest, and your betrothed’s yearning for a full cathedral ceremony with all due pomp and circumstance.

Listen up and take comfort from the advice of two of Ireland’s top wedding planners, who note that it is super easy and more than acceptable to ensure your wedding is tailored to your individual tastes.

Franc aka Peter Kelly of Weddings by Franc reassures inner free spirits that they are not alone in hankering for a more offbeat or, funky way of tying the knot.

“I see absolutely every single wedding as individual. I personally don’t see non-traditional weddings as a trend as such because we have been organising them for so long,” he says.

Indeed, Ireland’s wedding scene has changed utterly in the past 10 years. According to the CSO, Roman Catholic ceremonies have fallen from 16,854 in 2007 to 12,486 a decade later. Comparable rates of decline in Church of Ireland services are 553 to 393.

Meanwhile, civil ceremonies have risen from 4,762 to 6,156 in the same period, and “other religions” from 32 to 804.

When it comes to civil ceremonies, the HSE states that there’s no set format. The couple must simply make a legal declaration regarding there being no impediment to marriage, as well as set vows.

“Additions to the ceremony, such as lighting candles, including the couples’ own vows, some readings, and poems are allowed, all as long as there are no religious references,” says HSE spokeswoman Mary Smithwick.

Being able to say “I do” in a venue of your own choosing should you opt for a civil ceremony is a privilege brides and grooms-to-be would not have enjoyed just over 10 years ago.

It was a very big deal and made national headlines on Friday, November 16, 2007, when Ireland’s first civil wedding outside a registry office took place, as Michelle Owens, from Carrigaline, Co Cork, and Fergus Burke, Ballyvolane, Co Cork, signed themselves into the history books in the Cahernane House Hotel in Killarney, Co Kerry.

Today, some 6% of ceremonies in Ireland are humanist weddings.

“The main reason people go for non-religious ceremonies are because they are personal and couples can also combine the legal aspect of getting married in front of their friends and family,” says humanist wedding celebrant Siobhan Walls.

Whether you end up opting for the church, civil or humanist, or another route, it’s the little touches that can tip the balance in making your wedding your very own.

For instance, a couple spending time together before the ceremony (a no-no traditionally) can be a bonus when it comes to maximising opportunities to create precious memories on

camera.

Newlyweds going outdoors for the first dance is another element that wedding planner Franc feels enhances the big day.

The reason? Nature creates an unrivalled romantic yet inexpensive backdrop. “This is an amazing experience you can create without needing a huge budget,” he says.

Your wedding can be whatever you want it to be, notes wedding planner Tara Fay.

She recalls how one bride and groom she worked with got married in New York with two friends following them around with cameras as they created a movie of the big day.

“Meghan and Harry are still having the ceremony and reception aspects of the wedding,” she says, adding: “Many people retain elements of a traditional wedding but who says what’s traditional? It’s all about what you want, and making it work.”

Alternative weddings

The destination wedding 

Ciara O’Neill and Michael (Mixey) Hourigan. Pictures: Adrian O’Neill

SYDNEY-BASED Ciara O’Neill and Michael (Mixey) Hourigan chose to organise a “destination wedding”.

Ciara, from Kanturk, Co Cork, and Mixey, from Newmarket, Co Cork, got engaged in December 2014 while back in Ireland on holiday and the bride immediately knew she wanted to hold their nuptials in Spain.

“My partner is a little more traditional but after some convincing, he agreed and it was the best decision we ever made!” she said.

They were wed in Nerja on July 1, 2016. “From the time we visited Nerja we fell in love with it straightaway.”

Those helping ensure the day went to plan were their Irish wedding planner Sonya Casey, their photographer Adrian O’Neill and hairstylist Pat O’Neill.

“We flew to Spain five nights before the wedding and everything was easy and chilled from the get go! Most of the 154 guests flew in the two days before the wedding and that’s when the party started,” says Ciara.

The church ceremony was scheduled relatively late in the day, taking place at 4pm, which added to the sense of relaxation.

“Although we wanted something different we still wanted to be married in a church. We then went to our reception venue which was two minutes’ walk from the church and also overlooking the ocean.

“The day went off without a hitch and we danced the night away beneath the stars till the early hours of the morning.”

A “trash the dress” photoshoot on the beach and in the ocean a few days after the wedding added to the occasion, added the bride.

“Not everyone will agree with an offbeat wedding as people can fear the unknown, but we can’t recommend getting married abroad enough — it was definitely a risk worth taking.”