Roddy Doyle pens brilliant short story about marriage equality

The author shared the story on his Facebook page.

Beloved Irish author Roddy Doyle - he of 'The Snapper' and 'The Commitments' fame - has penned an excellent short story about the upcoming referendum on May 22.

In the story, Doyle - who shared the story on his Facebook page - imagines a conversation between two men about how they're going to vote, referencing one of the men's gay nephew, Ronaldo and James Rodriguez.

As always with Doyle's writing, it is a witty, dry look at Irish life.

If you can't see the post, click here

The story in full:

-Which way are yeh votin’ in the gay thing?

-The marriage equality referendum?



-You’re votin’ Yes?



-Me sister’s son – me nephew.

-He’s gay, is he?


-So you’re supportin’ him.

-Have you become Joe fuckin’ Duffy or somethin’?

-I’m just curious.

-Then, no, I’m not supportin’ him.

-But you’re votin’ Yes?

-Look it, he’s a grand kid but he’s an irritatin’ little prick as well.

-So – . I don’t get yeh.

-I’m watchin’ the football, righ’. He always comes to the house when I’m watchin’ the football. An’ he sits beside me – grand. But then – say it’s Real Madrid. He’ll go, ‘Oh, I love Ronaldo’, or ‘Pass it to Ronaldo.’ So – like, last night, I lost it a bit and I said, ‘What’s so special about Ronaldo?’ An’ he says, ‘His pace, his accuracy, his leap, his ability with the dead ball, the way he can turn, his engine – the stats speak for themselves.’ Never mentioned his fuckin’ hair or his six-pack or whatever they’re callin’ muscles these days.

-An’ that annoyed yeh?

-Well, he fooled me. No – he made me think like a fool. An’ he’s always doin’ it – catchin’ me ou’. So, I thought to meself, ‘A few years o’ marriage will fix tha’ little fucker’s cough for him.’

-That’s why you’re votin’ Yes? It can’t be - .

-No. I’m just messin’. Look - fuck it, I love him. He’s a great kid an’ if he ever wants to get married, he should be able to. An’ me sister can have her big day as well.

-An’ he obviously knows his football.

-Oh, he does, yeah.

-What’s he think of James Rodriguez?

-Same as meself. Gorgeous an’ over-rated.

The post has over 28,000 likes and has been shared over 9,000 times.

More in this section


Join us for our International Women’s Day virtual lunchtime celebration on Monday, March 8 from 1pm

Home Delivery


Have the Irish Examiner delivered to your door. No delivery charge. Just pay the cover price.