Are you of Ireland? Here's the 10 rules you have to live by...
We were having a look at Alain De Botton's Ten Commandments for Atheists today, and that got us thinking, which is always dangerous…
So now we present:
Should Simon not be available, feel free to worship the BOD in his stead.
Don’t be booking holidays or anything for All-Ireland week. This could be your year, you can feel it.
Nor shalt thou order something ridiculous. I don't want to be all night at the counter.
You had it on for? Do you think we're made of money? (H/T: Des Bishop)
Yes, we know you bought your house for half the price of ours. We love the fact that you keep reminding us, thanks for that.
What, you like King and Tayto? BUT THAT’S JUST WRONG (see also: ‘Tea’, ‘Stout’).
Be grand, so it shalt.
Because Zebo forbid anyone in Ko Samui should remain unaware that you’re from Carlow.
For extra Irishness points, casually break out the hurls on Bondi beach.
Lads, yis brought hurls to Australia?
Or @irishmammies will let you know all about it.
CmeretomenowIwanttotalktoyou. There's to be No. Acting. Up. this Christmas. Is that clear?— Irish Mammies (@irishmammies) December 22, 2012
Because thou shalt be asked, and thou had better know what the homily was about or thou will be found out.
Let us know in the comments…