Anguished former Big Brother housemate Shahbaz has apologised for his erratic behaviour on the TV show, claiming he was haunted by his past of “homelessness, starvation, sexual abuse and molestation”.
The 37-year-old Glaswegian, who walked out on Tuesday after days of unpredictability, admitted he had “spectacularly fallen apart” while on the fly-on-the-wall programme.
But he claimed the “demons” of his past had caused him to have a “breakdown” during his five-day stint.
The camp Scot – who claims to be a fan of Kylie and knitting – had been closely watched by show psychologists after antagonising fellow housemates and threatening to kill himself live on air.
He told Big Brother’s Little Brother he had had no choice but to quit while he was ahead: “I never saw my breakdown coming but wasn’t it spectacular everyone? Car crash TV at its finest.”
He said his experience in the house had been “cathartic” but added the problems of his past, including “homelessness, starvation, sexual abuse and molestation” had come back to haunt him.
“It has been the most magical, mystical, Wizard of Oz ride of my whole life,” he said.
“But the thing I saw in the mirrors was not Big Brother, it was all the demons of my past coming back to bite me on the arse and I had to fight them all and it was very difficult.
“I owe Big Brother a whole new lease of life. I have waited a lifetime of abuse to feel alive again.”
Of his fellow housemates, he added: “They were all individually wonderful but they didn’t expect me to fall apart the way that I did.”
Today’s Daily Mirror claimed he had once been hit by his father with a hammer because of his cross-dressing and at 16 he was a rent boy.
The paper said he had apologised for his behaviour on the show: “I’m awfully sorry if I offended anybody …. The pain is just too much.”
The camp Glaswegian’s departure means this year’s series threatens to be one long love-in.
Most of the housemates have coupled barely a week after their grand entrance.
Scouser Mikey and posh girl Grace appear surgically attached, while “ladies’ man” Sezer clings on to Welsh beauty Imogen like a child to a comfort blanket.
Mad Mancunian Lisa is sweet on Tourette’s Syndrome sufferer Pete, and footballer’s wife wannabe Nikki is eyeing up toff George.
The girls sat in the bedroom gossiping last night.
Grace cooed about how much she enjoyed hugs and affection, while Imogen sighed: “All the boys in here are so caring.”
“It’s so exciting”, squeaked Nikki.
Grace said: “They’re lucky to get one romance in here, but four?”
Even Lea and Richard were getting in on the act as they frolicked on the gay Canadian’s bed.
Lea joked with Richard: “I can see the headlines in the papers tomorrow - ‘Single mum, who hasn’t had sex in a year, harasses queer’.
George later confessed to Sezer and Imogen that he did not fancy Nikki but preferred Grace.
But the potential between Lisa and Pete was juicer as Imogen revealed the Manic Manc confessed that she “really liked” Pete.
She added: “No, I mean she REALLY likes him.”
Earlier it was announced Bonnie, Dawn and Glyn will be the first housemates to face eviction from the house tomorrow.
Bookies made Bonnie hot favourite to be evicted after she failed to make an impact in the house.
Ladbrokes spokesman Nick Weinberg said: “Bonnie has become a bit more vocal. But it’s a case of too little, too late in our opinion. Friday night will be far from Bonnie for the Loughborough lass.”
She is 1/3 favourite to get the boot.