This man learned to bounce away the bulge at a Dublin fitness class

As he piled on the pounds and his loved ones turned into a Greek chorus proclaiming ‘Belly’s going to get you’, Caomhan Keane decided to bounce back against the bulge at a number of Dublin’s rebounding classes.

Irish men are currently rolling up the obesity charts and are on course to be the fattest in Europe by 2030. 47% of those weighed by Operation Transformation for their Know Your Numbers campaign were found to be overweight. 34% were obese. And lads who tick my age box, (30+) are among those most at risk of suffering long-term physical and mental problems directly related to our failure to engage in any exercise.

Putting down the sliotars and picking up the pints in our early 20s, exercise becomes less of a priority as personal and professional responsibilities take hold. For most of our father’s generation, physical labour was a daily fact of their working lives. We spend ours on our phones, clattering on computers and eating huge portions of processed foods.

I could feign shock overan EU study that found one in three Irish adults don’t exercise at all… if it weren’t for the fact that I’m one of those ones. I wasn’t always this way. We may not have all partied through the boom years, but I sure as hell did, hitting the dance-floor four times a week and not leaving it until I looked like knotted hair clogged in a drainpipe.

It was probably not the healthiest way of staying fit, but it was enjoyable one. So when the music stopped and the lights came up on my fattening torso, I knew I needed a means of losing weight that was a bit of craic. “Clubbing is a brilliant form of cardio,” Emma Weafer, a personal trainer, tells me. “You’d come home from dancing, feeling wrecked, having lost a million calories… all from a night out. I wanted to have an exercise routine that mimicked that experience.” That’s when she came across Boogie Bounce, which she first brought to Ireland in 2011.

Put simply, its bouncing on a mini-trampoline (called a rebounder) to driving EDM for 50-minutes, while an instructor orders you to swivel this way and that. Squatting, clenching, lunging and star jumping as disco-lights sparkle and sweat flies, 10 minutes of bouncing is as effective as 30 minutes of jogging. You can develop both upper and lower body strength as effectively as weight lifting — without the strain or threat of pulled or torn muscles.

Rebounding is not new. Doctors have had rebounders in clinics for decades for people with knee and ligament problems. Cher, Britney, and Megan Fox are keen bouncers. Ronald Regan bounced in the White House. The craze is even Nasa- approved, dubbing it the most efficient and effective exercise yet devised by man”. For Emma, Boogie Bounce helped with her anxiety.

“I was having panic attacks three to four times a day; I was hospitalised in the middle of the night, thinking I was having a heart attack. When I went to the doctor he prescribed anti-depressants and I just burst into tears reading the side effects. They sounded worse than the symptoms they cured.” Binning the prescriptions, she decided to focus on fitness instead. Five years ago she leapt on a trampoline and hasn’t been bounced by a panic attack since.

Just jumping on the rebounder raises your heart rate, pumping oxygen into your bloodstream, flushing toxins out of your body, while also releasing endorphins. For people who are worried about their co-ordination, there is bar on the rebounder for support until they feel confident bouncing without it. And due to its low impact (the mat absorbs it all) it’s the perfect class for those who have deserted fitness because it’s too harsh on their joints.

It’s basically a two-hour gym session in just under an hour that left me blinded by my own sweat, gasping for breath. The entire following day I was walking like John Wayne stepping on Legos. Being dyspraxic, telling my right from my left doesn’t come naturally and trying to keep up with a class who had been going through the same routine for four weeks already was daunting. Thankfully, Boogie Bounce is designed to work if you take it at your own pace, so while I may have been turning in the wrong direction, a move or two behind everyone else, I was still getting through it. It finishes off with a 15 minute toning section for arms, bums, tumsand thighs. A hell like I’ve never experienced.

Although Boogie Bounce is suitable for all ages, shapes, sizes and genders, I was the only guy in my class. Perhaps the introductory email reminding me to bring a sports bra should have been a clue.

The nightly Trampoline Aerobics class in Jumpzone in Sandyford was more mixed. Unlike Boogie Bounce, you don’t work on a singular trampoline, but rather a specialised hall with upwards of 30 rebounders built into the ground. Large spring-loaded frames are used for jogging or sprinting along or for push-ups, step-ups or planks — circuits of which are done between thrusting yourself skywards all whilst pushing your hands up, out, kicking your legs, tapping your knees or a combination of these.

Eileen Mooney devised the class four years ago. “People think they are going to come along and bounce about and have a bit of fun, and they do. But I have designed a class that burns up to 1,000 calories. I set the pace and it doesn’t change whether you are a beginner or a seasoned rebounder. You’re not going to be able to keep up during your first class, but you can track your progress week on week.”

To insure that all levels can enjoy the class together, Eileen has designated lanes based on skill level. I wasn’t paying attention and wandered into the one for those training for marathons or some oncoming apocalypse.

I ended up in anaphylactic shock, unable to catch my breath and curled up in agony as my toes cramped.

“You have to listen to your body,” Eileen says. “People start off thinking they are in competition with others in the room, or that everyone is supposed to perform at the same level and they can get overwhelmed very quickly and panic.

“When you start out you are using your body in a different way. Different muscles are activated since you don’t have runners on (rather lime green grippy socks that are provided). But confidence grows as the format fits. It doesn’t have to be perfect straight off.”

I found it best to tune out her counting, or to do half of what she called for, so as not to be panting like a Looney Toon wolf emitting involuntary howls as Eileen had us stretch dyna-bands and lift kettle-bells as we went. I truly thought she was trying to kill us by allowing only 20 seconds before thrusting us into the next circuit of drills. “I don’t like to leave long gaps as the body starts to cool down and that’s when you become open to injury. Quick hydration is what the kidney needs then get straight back into it”.

My classmates are there for a variety of reasons. Some are recovering from injury, some are there for the LOLs and other are using it to give themselves a competitive edge in team sports. Yet more are there, like me, to lose weight. “When you start training, you build a bit of muscle. Muscle weighs heavier than fat so people are wondering; “Why isn’t my weight dropping down?” But while you are gaining weight, you are dropping inches so — aesthetically, your body looks better.”

As for the guys who scoffed when I told them I was doing this? “Some men think it’s girly and sissy because they are used to contact sports.

“But try and do it, then stand in judgment.”

http://unifyfitness.com/

https://jumpzone.ie/