'It was my worst job interview ever - but here's what I learned from it'

Looking for that dream position is easy, until you consider the interview, says Vicki Notaro.

AFTER years of recession, emigration and all-round hopelessness on the work front, finally, things are starting to look up for job seekers.

Unemployment levels are now back to pre-bust levels, and we’re once again getting to a point where skilled, educated graduates can have their pick of positions on the market.

However getting a new job usually means one thing — a job interview.

Dreaded by many, the process can vary wildly in terms of formality (or lack thereof) and what’s expected of a prospective candidate.

As a journalist, my experience of job applications has been all over the place.

Sometimes it’s been a word-of-mouth recommendation, others an informal coffee meeting.

In fact, it was only this year at the age of 30 that I had my first “proper” interview for an editing position with a panel in a formal setting, and it was mildly terrifying.

Looking back, I’m sure I was obviously nervous, my handshake was undoubtedly sweaty and in retrospect, my skirt a little short.

I didn’t get the job, but it didn’t upset me — I’m a ‘what’s meant for you won’t pass you by’ kind of person, and it obviously wasn’t the right position for me.

However often when going for an interview, it’s a dream job at stake.

The internet is littered with advice on how to ace an interview, but there are few articles about what to do when you really muck one up.

With that in mind, I spoke to four well-known women about their worst interviews ever, and what they learned from them.

ANDREA HORAN, entrepreneur and social activist, The HunRealIssues.com

“I was on holiday in Thailand and became really ill on the last day, to the point where I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to travel home.

“I had an interview for a PR account manager position in London the following day and felt too sick to cancel it.

“I should have. I could barely think straight, I was sweating like a maniac and had to keep going to the bathroom to try and pull myself together.

“Not surprisingly, I didn’t get the job. In hindsight, I’m so glad I didn’t — I was just dazzled by the amazing package on offer, good money, holidays and benefits.

“My first job interview was the best. I’d just finished doing my PR course and applied for every job going.

“I was asked why I wanted to work in PR and the obvious answer was: to tell the truth.

“I waxed lyrical about how much I loved Absolutely Fabulous and how my goal in life was to emulate Edina Monsoon.

“Delightfully, I got the job. I think if you’re yourself you get the job you need and that suits you.

“Now as the owner of Tropical Popical, a nail bar in Dublin, I’m the one conducting interviews. Whenever I hire someone, the most important thing is their vibe and whether that will fit into the workplace.

“Most skills can be learned in our trade, but if you and your team have to spend 40 hours a week with this person, they need to complement the rest of the team and bring something unique to the table.”

Learning curve: “If you’re projecting an image that isn’t the real you, you’re going to get a job that suits the projection.

“I just haven’t got time for trying to be something I’m not every day of the week.”

JOANNE McNALLY, comedian and playwright

“I’ve worked everywhere. In seven different petrol stations, all the big department stores, hotels, takeaways, corner shops, nursing homes, banks, music festivals, more hotels, baby shops, bars, farms, insurance companies, jewellery stalls, restaurants, and bar pole dancing.

“There isn’t an industry I haven’t sampled or been sacked from.

“Along the way I’ve learnt that I have absolutely no co-ordination; sometimes restaurants will give you a trial night to see if you’re up to the job, I never once made it past a trial night.

“I once had an interview with someone a mate of mine knew, and this friend told me the interviewer had a nickname — all his mates called him ‘Dick’.

“I walked into the interview for a job in communications, and decided I’d break the ice by greeting him with a confident ‘Hi Dick’.

“It was not well received and the entire interview was destroyed. There’s a time and a place for being pally with your boss, and it’s after you retire.

“My advice would be, when asked about your weakest trait, just give them the usual ‘I’m a perfectionist’ chestnut.

“It’s a trick question, no one actually expects you to start reeling off your personal flaws, it’s not therapy, they don’t need to know that you have abandonment issues and a slight gambling problem. Fake it till you make it.”

Learning curve: “Don’t be over familiar. (See Dick situation above).”

REBECCA HORAN, broadcaster on Irish TV and RTÉ Today

“Interviews can be such a demoralising experience but they can be so valuable too. I am only learning this now that I am in my 30s.

“I’ve had a few hairy interviews because I’m probably better in more informal setting — stuffy hour-long meetings with three people where they are undressing you and your CV are just bad for the soul.

“One cringe-worthy memory is when I was interviewing for an administrative position in a very sophisticated architects firm and I showed up wearing a very short dress with sky high blue stilettos and a fur stole.

“I thought it would show my flair for design and fashion, instead, I felt uncomfortable and ridiculous.

“I thought I would be shown the door but they hired me that very day.

“In my interview for my position as a reporter with AA Roadwatch they asked if I was good at geography and I asked why. That was slightly embarrassing. But yes, I got the job.

“Before he retired, my father was a brilliant barrister and I remember sneaking in to see him in action in court when I was still at school and thinking how articulate and brave he was and how I could never do that, then one day my dad was giving me some advice and he was telling me that my industry was, in fact, similar to the legal profession and that I needed to grow a thick skin. I’m still growing that skin but in ways he was right.

“My dad has always given me the best career advice, but mind you, this is the man that dropped me at an architect’s firm in turquoise blue six-inch stilettos for an interview and just sighed as I tumbled out onto Waterloo Road for the interview Bridget Jones style.

Learning curve: “I definitely care less about what people think which is probably one of the most important life lessons and if you are going for a job see it as just that, a job.”

SARAH MARIA GRIFFIN, author

“I lived in the US for three years during the recession, and I once had an interview in California in a small technology company as a receptionist.

“I was warned before the interview not to wear any perfume or bathe using any strongly scented soaps because the CEO hated strong smells and had passed on several other applicants because of their perfume use.

“I discovered halfway through the many-stage-interview that I had to do an accountancy test, and I have numeracy problems so bad that spreadsheets genuinely make me carsick.

“I took a photo of it on my iPhone and sent it to a friend of mine, who knocked them out very quickly.

“I copied the answers and wrote them in. I was offered the job the next day (apparently my perfume was very modest) but declined.

“You name it, I’ve done it. Candy floss sales gal at Disney on Ice, bar staff in the local when I was a teenager, sales assistant in a pet shop... I’m a post-Celtic Tiger Cub, so often worked more than one job at once, especially during college to keep myself going.

“In California, I babysat rabbits and fed them cancer medication over long weekends. I’ve nannied for all sorts of families — and interviewing for those gigs was often very strange.

“One interview ended with the mother of the two girls sitting at the piano and playing songs for me to sing to the girls. I stood there, singing, while the two girls staunchly ignored my serenade.”

Learning curve: “Go for a job that you want, go in open. I knew I could sing those kids to sleep easy peasy. But accounting? No way in fresh hell.”