‘What I Wish I’d Known’ campaign helping expectant mothers help each other
MANY women are surprised by what happens during pregnancy, discovering that the experience is nothing like they thought it would be.
The 2,208 mums interviewed in August on behalf of Pregnacare said they hadn’t anticipated the extent of the changes that would take place in their bodies, with 80% reporting sickness, insomnia, and pain, as well as the need to take countless bathroom breaks.
This revelation led Pregnacare to launch a campaign sharing useful advice for first-time mums.
The ‘What I Wish I’d Known’ campaign is being fronted by The Today Show’s Lucy Kennedy, who is expecting her third child in December.
“I’m thrilled to be involved in this campaign,” says Lucy.
“It’s giving mums the opportunity to help each other and to share advice about what’s really important when you’re having a baby — from nutrition and keeping yourself well when you’re expecting to what sort of equipment you’ll need for your baby.”
Lucy loves being a mother to Jack (aged 6) and Holly (aged 5). She is also happy to be pregnant with her third baby.
“My husband Richard and I hummed and hawed about having three,” she says.
“I’m one of three myself.
“I’d hoped to have our third before I turned 40 but work and life meant that we put it off for a while.
“Luckily, we got pregnant quickly once we started trying and I actually realised I was pregnant when I was out celebrating my 40th birthday.
“I took a sip of wine, thought it tasted strange, and turned to Richard to tell him I thought I was pregnant. It was the best birthday present ever!”
Like most pregnancies, this one has had its ups and downs. Lucy has been tired. She’s had lower back pain and she’s had morning sickness.
“I had it for the first 19 weeks and it was really bad this time around,” says Lucy.
“In fact, the only goodness I could get into my body for the first eight weeks was a bowl of Weetabix and some Pregnacare supplements before bed.”
There are many things Lucy would have liked to have known before she got pregnant for the first time.
“I wish I’d been told how bad morning sickness could be,” she says. “I thought something was wrong with me and I was very worried.”
She also wishes she’d been warned about the tiredness.
“I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been,” she says. “Instead of being in bed while the baby slept, I would rush around emptying the dishwasher and tidying the kitchen. I know better now.”
Even though she’s experienced now, Lucy still finds the changes in her pregnant body surprising.
“The back pain, the stretchy tummy in the evenings, the boobs the size of your head — sometimes you catch sight of yourself in the mirror and ask: ‘Who is that?’ ” she laughs.
Lucy has received lots of advice, some of it more useful than others.
“The best advice I got was breathing through the pain of labour, not panicking, and imagining that every contraction was bringing me closer to holding my baby,” she says. “That kept me calm.”
She has also learned to be realistic.
“I don’t put myself under pressure to be the perfect mum in the way that I used to,” she says.
“I don’t try to keep the perfect house or to have the perfect dinner on the table. I just do what I can do.”
She worries less too.
“With my first baby, I turned up at the hospital thinking I was in labour and I left with some Senocot because all I needed was a good poo,” she laughs.
“With this baby, I feel a whole lot more relaxed.”
This is not to say that being pregnant for a third time isn’t challenging.
“I may be more relaxed but I’m more tired too,” she says.
“I work. I’m expecting a baby and I look after two young children. Of course I’m tired.”
She recently told Jack and Holly about the baby.
“They squealed and then Jack said: ‘So you’re not just fat then?’ It wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting.”
Lucy and Richard then had to deal with a barrage of questions.
“They turned into Bart and Lisa Simpson asking ‘is the baby coming? Is the baby coming?’ over and over,” says Lucy.
“We eventually put a chart up in their bedrooms so that they could count down the days.”
She plans to take five or six months of maternity leave.
“I took a year with Jack and a year and a half with Holly,” she says.
“But because I’m only away from the house from 4pm to 8.15pm from Monday to Thursday, I think I can go back earlier.
“I’m very lucky and hopefully everything will be OK with this little baby and all will go according to plan.”
In the meantime, Lucy intends to continue enjoying life as a working mother.
“The way I work now is the perfect half-way point between working and parenting for me,” she says. “I’m never bored and I get to enjoy precious time with my children.”
Lucy&'s top tips for managing work and home life
1. Get organised “If you had told me seven years ago that I’d have three children and a full-time job, I’d have laughed in your face.
“It only works because I’m seriously organised. I go to bed early and get up early and I have a plan for every day and a plan for what to do if things go wrong. I juggle a lot of balls and if one falls, I know what to do next. I always have a back-up plan.”
2. Make the most of whatever supports you do have “I’m lucky to have a lot of support. My mum and dad live down the road, my sister is up the road and Richard’s parents are only 50 minutes away. I’m surrounded by fantastic people who are often ready and able to help if I need them.”
3. Don’t feel guilty about using childcare “We have a childminder who is a Montessori teacher and she loves the children.
“It’s almost as if they have another mother looking after them when I’m not there. We’re very lucky to have her.”
4. Get your partner to play his part “Richard is a great dad and he gets home two hours after I leave for work every day,” says Lucy.
“That works very well for us and for the children. They get to spend time with me early in the day and with him in the evenings.”
5. Don’t waste energy trying to be perfect Lucy gives her experience of breastfeeding as an example.
“I loved breastfeeding and it worked for me but there is such pressure on mums to do it.
“I introduced formula at eight weeks and I remember crying as I was making it because I felt so guilty. Now, I know that you can only do what you can do. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. You can only do your best.”
6. Don’t forget to enjoy it “They grow up so quickly and you’ll miss those moments when they’re gone, even the moments where it feels like your eyes might bleed with tiredness and even the labour itself.
“Enjoy every single second.”
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