The Shape I'm In: Dustin The Turkey

YOU can’t print that,” says Dustin. And he’s right. Whether he’s slagging off celebrities or revealing his fantasies about Irish models, the cheeky turkey loves to flex his wings and push the boundaries, showing little mercy for his prey.

To be fair, he does have a caring side. A Unicef ambassador, he was “knighted by Roger Moore” and has performed in South Africa twice.

“It’s brilliant because kids are the same all over the world. You go and do a couple of farts, and they all laugh their heads off. I always get one of their leaders to give me a kiss — it’s just great crack.”