The Santa Clause: Keeping festive wish list expectations under control

Teaching your children that the festive season is a time for giving can help keep their Christmas wish list under control, writes Ciara McDonnell

BLAME the television, those pesky billboards or that suspiciously heavy toy catalogue that thundered through your letterbox in recent weeks, Christmas has begun. Most of us begin to sweat when our kids begin to parrot their seemingly endless list for Santa Claus, but with advice gleaned from the canniest of experts, we might be able to help you save Christmas after all.

Fashion Blogger and mum of three Emma Carty saves all year round to prevent financial strain during the Christmas period. “We have three kids and I work part-time, so Christmas tends to be a scary prospect for us,” she explains. “Since the children came along I have religiously put €50 away a month, starting each January. This ensures that I have a pot of €600 when it comes to Christmas spending.” Emma sits her kids down in October with a toy catalogue and a marker and encourages them to tick the things that they would put on their wish list. “I find this the handiest way to siphon off presents to aunts and uncles who inevitably text us, looking for ideas.”

Parenting expert and bestselling author Niamh O’Reilly says that when it comes to Christmas presents, managing expectations is key. “Now is a good time to start teaching your children that Christmas is a time for generosity, not greed,” she advises. “Teaching children that giving is better than receiving is a difficult task – be patient! Demonstrate giving and loving behaviour in ways that your children understand.” Graphic designer Susan Bell Flavin agrees.

Christmas is an ideal time to teach your children that giving is better than receiving, and right, parenting expert Niamh O’Reilly says managing expectations is vital.

“We encourage our four children to pick two to three of their favourite gifts when writing to Santa because everyone knows Santa gets a bit annoyed with greedy children!”

Sharyn Hayden, mother of two and author of I Forgot To Take My Pill believes that children instinctively know their limitations.

“Kids are so clever and they do understand if something is a big no-no”, she says. “I think if you instill a basic understanding of the value of things throughout the year, Christmas won’t be as big a battle as it might otherwise be.” Hayden believes in fostering new family traditions during the Christmas period, to help instill a sense of generosity in her children. “I started what I hope will be an annual tradition last year, when Jacob (4) and I brought some of his old toys and some sweets to the local charity shop ‘for the boys and girls who don’t have loads of toys like he does’. He wasn’t completely sold on the idea but as he grows up, I hope he’ll understand how important and kind that is.”

Sharyn Hayden says we can teach kids about charity at Christmas.

The gift of giving at Christmas is an important concept for families to grasp, especially in today’s world of instant gratification. Niamh O’Reilly recommends rifling through toy boxes and donating old toys to children who have less at Christmas time, while Susan Bell Flavin’s children ask Santa to donate one toy of their choice to a child who needs one. As she says, “with so many families in need this year, it is easy to find a way to show you care.” Sharyn Hayden believes that time and place are hugely important in the lead- up to the festive period.

“From now until Christmas, I will do my utmost to avoid bringing the kids anywhere near a toy shop or a shopping centre to avoid the madness. Jacob was three last year and had such a monumental tantrum in the middle of our local shopping centre over a dumper truck in the window of a shop that I can still hear the wailing now!

The aim for parents at Christmas-time, according to Niamh O’Reilly, should be simple. “Spend time, not money on your family. Most of all, over the holidays, your kids want to be around you. As my mum would say ‘presence, not presents’!”

The dos and don‘ts of buying for Christmas

The dos and don’ts to ensure you’re kids learn  the true spirt of Christmas:

Do

• Save: Even a nominal monthly amount will help towards next year.
• Manage Expectations: Let your kids know that Santa can only bring a certain amount to each child because he has to look after every single kid in the whole world.
• Lock It Down: Put a time limit on changes of mind. Tell the kids that Santa starts organizing the spaces on his sleigh on December 1 and all letters must be final by then.

Don’t

• Play Russian Roulette: Hide the toy catalogues to avoid temptation.
• Forget The Stockings: Head to Tiger and Dealz to stock up on cheap-but-cute stocking fillers.
• Ignore The Relatives: Let godparents and grandparents know what’s on the wish list. Niamh O’Reilly’s bestselling book No Fuss Baby and Toddler Sleep (Mercier Press, 2015) is available from all good bookstores and online from Amazon and Sharyn Hayden’s book I Forgot To Take My Pill! An Honest Diary Of A First- time Mum is available to buy now on Amazon.