Let it all hang out and embrace the ’dad bod’

A paunch used to be frowned upon but it’s now trending as men bid goodbye to endlessly pumping iron at the gym and embrace their dad bods, writes Dave Robbins.

I’VE never been able to maintain a gym habit. Or a diet for that matter. I’ve never done a triathlon or joined in any fitness craze.

I’ve never chased fashion, fame or celebrity. But now, for reasons I don’t fully understand, I find myself bang on-trend.

The explanation? That layer of sub-cutaneous fat around my middle. Not only that. There’s my ill-defined abdominal muscles too.

Oh, and the fact that I like a beer and, if there’s a slice of pizza going with that, why thanks, I’ll have that too.

I have what the zeitgeist monitors are calling a ‘dad bod’— the sort of squidgy, soft, non-threatening physique guys get in their 40s, when they’ve given up serious sport and the craft beer and the pepperoni have taken their toll.

Coined by US college blogger Mackensie Pearson earlier this year, the phrase dad bod has gone viral. It’s spreading faster than the triple cheese topping we dad bod-ers like so much.

“Girls,” said Pearson in a post last March which has been shared 20,000 times, “are all about the dad bod”, which she defined as “not an overweight guy” but not one “with washboard abs either”.

The dad bod apparently says: “I go to the gym occasionally but I also drink heavily on the weekends and eat eight slices of pizza at a time”.

The trend was picked up by New York magazine, which anointed Sex Tape star Jason Segel as the owner of the ultimate dad bod. But for me, James Corden is more the ideal I should be aiming for.

But what’s behind this sudden paunch tolerance? And can it be OK for us dad-type guys to stop feeling guilty about our lack of exercise?

In my case, it’s that unused lime-green Lyrca bodysuit hanging in the back of the wardrobe, a nagging reminder of all those triathlons I never did.

At first sight, the attraction of dad bods — or ‘girls lining up at the dad bod buffet’ as the Daily Show put it — is less about a lust for yielding flesh and more about a sudden distaste for the kind of man who spends hours in the gym honing his abs.

The ‘cut’ body, the ripped abs, the body oil (the muscle definition is better when you use it apparently), the tan, the bulging biceps; these all speak of a man concerned to the point of obsession about his appearance. Way beyond health and fitness, this is full-blown narcissism.

As Pearson pointed out, women “don’t want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don’t need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.”

This point is echoed by my wife. “We’re used to seeing these muscled bodies in ads and on billboards. We don’t want to see them standing beside us at a family event,” she says. Bless her.

Other women canvassed on the subject agree: they like to look at the toned bodies of actors and models, but wouldn’t want to take one home. One mum even wants her teenage son to relax into the dad bod.

“If I hear any more about bench presses or lean protein for dinner, I’ll scream,” she says.

The rise of the dad bod is not just anecdotal, or taking place in the bubble of social media. It’s backed by solid science. According to new research, by Dr Barnaby Dixson, a New Zealand anthropologist who studied what different sexes found attractive through history, women prefer less muscle-bound men.

“On a biological level, women are more likely to pick a slightly more effeminate man as they equate those physical traits with being more caring and gentle and therefore a better prospect as a partner,” he said.

Dr Dixson’s research is published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

His findings are backed up by data collected by US Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, which collects measurements and other information about 5,000 Americans every year.

The Centre runs a National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, which involves poking, prodding and weighing men and women from all over the country.

Crucially for dad-bod research, they measure men’s tummies (the saggital abdominal diameter, actually) by having the subject lie flat on a table and then they measure how high the navel sits above the table surface to get reliable assessment of the extent of the dad-gut.

The skinny? Well, dads are 10lbs heavier than non-dads and their bellies stick out an extra half-inch.

While women can appreciate — or at least accept — the more relaxed approach of the dad bod man, they can also see the double standard. There is no equal tolerance for the ‘mum bod’, even though women actually bear children.

Women are still expected to conform to strict physical norms. In fact, Dr Dixson’s research found that men were most attracted to women with a waist-hip ratio of 0.7, or a waist measurement 70% of the hip circumference, which equates to the classic hourglass figure. The dad bod waist-hip ratio doesn’t even bear thinking about.

I am a little conflicted by the rise of dad culture. A “dad crack” is a joke that falls flat; the Gap has launched a range of ‘dad shorts’, ‘dad jeans’ is shorthand for high-rise, relaxed-fit denims, ‘dad dancing’ is that embarrassing gyration dads do at weddings, and ‘dad rock’ is what we have on in the car.

Sometimes I miss my pre-dad self. Not that you could see my pecs and abs back then, but at least I knew they were in there. Now, I must learn to accept the fact that I will never wear anything from Zara Man.

The extra pounds and inches are markers of a changed life. New priorities, new challenges, a new daughter. Toned abs? Gym body? I just don’t have the time, man.

Besides, my daughter, now aged 10, says the dad bod is “great for hugs”. That’s good enough for me. I am learning to strut the gut.

HOW TO GET A BODY FIT FOR A DAD

1. Feel the burn

Of the coal fire, that is. Just sit back, relax and watch as your muscles slacken, your core loosens and the dad bod just steals over you.

If you’re struggling to lose that washboard stomach, think of Russell Crowe’s journey from Gladiator to total dad bod: that should inspire you to open that second bottle of wine.

2. Go on the see-food diet

See food, and eat it. Simple, like all the best ideas. Pizza and beer are recommended for quickest results.

3. Stay positive

Try visualisation exercises. Picture the beer and pizza you’re going to order once you’ve finished watching a re-run of Top Gear.

4. Slow and steady

A real beginner’s mistake is to take on high-intensity cardio or abdominal exercises. Get your exercise swinging your kids around.

At your weekly dads’ five-a-side, get plenty of rest by playing in goal.

5. Dress for success

If you can still get into your pre-dad bod clothes, do. Nothing shows off those few extra pounds better than too-tight jeans whose seams are under pressure.

For evening, wear loose XXL, billowy styles to hint at the flab that lies beneath.