10 Worst Movies of 2013

Later we'll bring you the best movies of the year but for right now here's 10 movies that you absolutely should miss from the year 2013

The movie year is almost done, though there are a few last award-ready films we’re scrambling to catch before the holidays, so its time to start compiling those best of lists. And with that search, inevitably, your mind also turns to the most disappointing, or downright dreadful, flicks of the year.While I’d be happy to admit that there was plenty to enjoy at cinemas this year, the usual dredge was churned out week on week as normal. Some of these movies were destined to be terrible, others shocked and surprised us with their total lack of commitment to any form of entertainment.I watch a lot of movies and I’m happy to give my opinion on them but this remains an entirely subjective take on the worst of the year. If you wildly agree or disagree, pop in and say something in the comments below.And maybe, just maybe, I’ll save you the pain of having to experience two hours of dross.Here we go.10 Dead Man DownNiels Arden Oplev’s latest could have been just a throwaway little thriller number but two weak leads (Noomi Rapace and a heavily accented Colin Farrell) plus a few too many twists made it next to unbearable. Though if you can stick it out, the closing action sequence is surprisingly meaty.9 Only God ForgivesBefore you ask, yes I have much love for Drive but Nicolas Winding Refn’s follow up left me cold, not to mention confused, bored and slightly nauseous. Ryan Gosling’s practically silent performance seems like a waste of his talent and the rest of the experience is so grim and grimy and pointlessly violent that it impossible to penetrate. And lordy but it’s depraved. Nice lighting though.8 Olympus Has FallenIn some ways, Olympus has more going for than the similarly themed White House Down – it’s got some heady violence and hit theatres first. But then it works so hard to be unlikeable, mainly by putting on a serious air a few too many times, then undercutting it by making the not exactly clearly spoken Gerard Butler mutter one liners. The final nail in the coffin is some of the most appalling CG effects I’ve ever seen, looking like some kind of barely held together previs or a 90s video game cutscene. Seriously, it has to be seen to be laughed at copiously. But don’t see it, because its crap.7 After EarthHubris, it’s a wonderful thing. Say you’re one of the world’s most powerful and well paid actors. Say you have an idea for a movie that you think would be cool and that also lets you co-star with your son. And that you somehow convince a studio to front $130 million for the result. That’s how After Earth came about – a story idea by Will Smith which became a big screen vanity project/folly like few before it. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan (which was their first mistake), it’s a dull, poorly designed, rarely thrilling survival story, which spends far too much time around the dopey Jaden Smith and not nearly enough time actually being about anything. Avoid it.6 The To Do ListThe world at large seems to be trying to make me like Aubrey Plaza, but if this is an example of her best work I’m going to have to decline. Billed as some kind of proto feminist sex comedy, The To Do List is instead one of the crassest movie experience I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit through. It’s remarkably unfunny, despite the presence of charmers like Clark Gregg and Bill Hader, but the main problem is that the lead character is a totally vacuous asshole. She uses people for whatever she needs and then gets confused when her life starts to come apart at the seams. Don’t see it.6 OldboyRemakes don’t come any more unnecessary than this – 2003’s Oldboy is not only a brilliantly entertaining, visceral slice of Korean cinema but it’s also entirely unique, something that exists because of the confluence of Eastern and Western influences in the country and the rising tide of filmmakers there in the in the early 2000’s. But 2013’s Oldboy is a sanitised, dull, studio sanctioned take on that powerful shock of a picture, one that hasn’t got the courage to forge new ground and even shies away from some of the originals most impressive moments.4 The CounsellorNovelist Cormac McCarthy made the movie to script writing and that’s the only reason stars of this calibre signed on. If you like watching people talking about nothing in attractively lensed places, then you’ll still be hard pressed to enjoy this totally joyless experience. Boredom has rarely looked so expensive. And Cameron Diaz should fire her agent immediately.3 SavagesFunctionally similar to The Counsellor in certain ways, including a director who should know better, Savages fails one again by seeming to work incredibly hard to make us hate the protagonists. That’s especially true of lead and narrator Blake Lively, who comes across as one of the most cretinous idiots to ever walk the earth. Her moany voice over and needy ways make the premise of the film – that we should worry about her safety – hopelessly moot. And her two boyfriends, Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch, don’t far much better. If John Travolta is the best thing in your movie, you’re doing something wrong.2 To the WonderTerrence Malick is an acquired taste, and I’ve enjoyed several of his films in the past but To the Wonder was an experimental step too far. While it doesn’t help that lead Ben Affleck can’t carry this type of movie on his movie star shoulders, the rest of the film is so diaphanous a puff of wind could carry it away. But while efforts like The Thin Red Line, The New World and even The Tree of Life are about SOMETHING, To the Wonder forgoes all that for a flick that’s mostly focussed on images of Olga Kurylenko wandering around and touching up trees. Not even Rachel McAdams can save this mess of a film.1 This is 40And this is my worst film of the year. Judd Apatow’s skills have been become more and more strained since his feature debut in 2005 but this takes it to an all new low. Mainly, it’s just not at all funny. As much as I like Paul Rudd, his vision here of a beaten down husband and dad just makes me feel terrible about my future. And that’s not to mention (if possible) the total harridan of a spouse played by Leslie Mann, who has been bringing the bitchiness in Apatow’s movies for far too long now. She’s also his real-life wife, and their two kids feature in this film once again. Why do I have to listen to shouted conversations about Lost which his family is having? And why the heck is it about Lost, it’s 2013 for Christ’s sake! The script is terrible, the jokes nonexistant and I just don’t want to spend any more of my life watching this guys annoying family. Please stop. Just please… stop.That’s my list of the worst of the year, and now my brain pan needs a good scrubbing. Maybe I’ll just watch Pacific Rim again. Give us your worst in the comments below!In Short: Later we'll bring you the best movies of the year but for right now here's 10 movies that you absolutely should miss from the year 2013

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